Angel in a Leather Jacket
by AngstRiddenTeenager
Summary: What if someone else saved Liz that night in the park? Updated 83003 Final Chapter! Please ReadReview! Thx!
1. Prologue

A/N: Before you read this story, there are a few minor details you should know. I'll try to make this as simple as possible! First off, Elizabeth moved to Port Charles after high school. Her sister Sarah came as well. Elizabeth does get raped but Lucky is not the one that saves her, Jason is. No offense to the GH writers and their wonderful Lucky/Liz storyline. Personally, I was all for L/L until they 'killed' Lucky. Secondly, I'm horrible with remembering dates, etc. So, here is a general time frame for the story: After Robin leaves and betrays Jason. Before Emily leaves. Around the time of the custody battle over Michael. This is an alternate universe kinda story so not all is as it seems. Please give it a chance. I wrote this a little while back for a contest but if you're a LIASON fan, you might be interested.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
When we met I thought it was just an accident. I never knew that it was fate that brought us together. And fate is what saved me later on.  
  
It was a warm evening; I was hanging outside of Kelly's with no particular purpose. I took out a cigarette, lit it, and inhaled. It was a horrible habit that I knew I should quit, but I never had the willpower to do so. And every previous time I had tried to quit, I was unsuccessful.  
  
I caught his eyes first; the deep intense blue peered into my soul, as if he could see inside to everything I hide from the world: frailties, insecurities, dreams, and desires.  
  
I dropped my newly lit cigarette and pulled out a fresh one from the pack  
  
"Got a light?" I asked, intrigued by the mysterious stranger. My lighter was in my back pocket but I thought I'd ask anyway.  
  
I was new in town, so everyone was a stranger. But something about him told me that there was more to him. He was wearing a leather jacket, jeans, boots, and a nicely fitted tee. I have always loved a man in a leather jacket.  
  
He pulled out a match and lit it. Instead of holding out my cigarette I just got closer with it hanging on the tip of my lips. He lit it and blew the match out.  
  
"Do you smoke?" I ask, taking it away from my lips and blowing out the smoke.  
  
"No. It's not good for you."  
  
"Then why the matches?" I ask.  
  
"I'm always prepared."  
  
"I bet you are." I say, whispering under my breath.  
  
"Excuse me?" He asked, but he knew exactly what I said.  
  
"I said, it's a nasty habit I just can't quit." I said, covering.  
  
"Why did you start?" He asked, like it was his business. But we were making conversation so I didn't mind.  
  
"I originally started to piss my parents off. They really didn't take notice and I was going to quit but I got hooked. I'm trying to cut back but every time I get nervous or anxious, I light up."  
  
"So why now? You don't look nervous or anxious." He said, giving me the once over. I noticed.  
  
I glance down at my outfit. A tank top and some shorts my parents would ground me if they saw me in. I'm glad they are far away from here.  
  
"New to town." I say, hoping he will offer to give me the guided tour.  
  
"Oh. Why here?" He asked, wondering why anyone would move to such a place when New York was so close.  
  
"My grandmother lives here." I said, hoping he wanted no more details. I wasn't in the mood.  
  
A young tall brunette came out of the diner. She looked at me and then towards the mysterious stranger.  
  
"Jase, you ready?" She asked, wondering about me.  
  
"Yeah, Em." He said, glancing at her and then at me.  
  
"Nice meeting you." He said, his final words before he took off with the brunette.  
  
My luck, I thought, the first guy I meet is with someone. I threw the cigarette down in frustration and grinded it into the cement with my shoe. 


	2. Fate

* * * A month later was the next time he entered my life. Fate again was strictly responsible. And for a long while after that I prayed and thanked God that he had found me. If he hadn't, Lord only knows where I'd be or in what condition. Or if I'd even be here at all.  
  
Having been ditched by my date, on Valentine's Day no less, I was completely upset. Of course, my date had ditched me as soon as my sister Sarah needed a shoulder to lean on. Just like every other guy, as soon as Lucky saw the blond hair and long legs he was hooked.  
  
And what kinda name is Lucky anyway?  
  
In my expensive red gown that I had bought specifically for this date, I sat on the crusty park bench alone with my thoughts. I heard a twig or two move behind me but I was uninterested in whatever was causing it. If only I had looked behind me.  
  
What happened next is the one topic I try to avoid, but to explain this story, is necessary.  
  
Two hands emerged from the bushes behind me. One wrapped itself around my waist while the other took hold over my mouth, my scream coming out like a muffled cry. The hands pulled me down into the bushes, the stems and twigs of the bush scratching me. I could only make out the form of a man in the darkness. His larger figure hovered over mine for a moment before he brought his lips to my neck.  
  
I wanted to scream, cry out, get help from anyone but all I could do was remain still. His lips sucked on my neck harshly as he slowly got on top of me. His body weighed me down as he took one free hand and slowly moved the strap of my dress down over my shoulder.  
  
I tried to struggle but he held me down with all his strength. I guess my dress became cumbersome to him with the intentions that he had. He tore it, his lips moving slowly down towards my breasts. His one hand still held firmly on my mouth. I tried again to scream but he silenced me with a few words.  
  
"Don't say a word."  
  
My body froze at his voice. The voice sounded so vile, so dirty, and so forceful. And for a moment the light of the moon caught his eyes and I saw their horrible brown depths and it frightened me.  
  
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that I was far away from the park, from Port Charles, from anything that could hurt me. I focused on my happy place trying to fade out the pain and struggle. But I never really left. I could still feel him hurting me, violating me, and stealing from me something that I held precious. That night my innocence was stolen.  
  
When he was done he left me bleeding in the snow. A huge red valentine, used and then thrown away. And that was just how I felt. Well, that was some of the thoughts that were going through my mind.  
  
I felt helpless, scared, alone, depressed, angry, violated, and exposed in the snow. I wanted to get up and run but I lacked the momentum. I wanted to cry out to whatever God that I had disassociated with in my youth for a reason to live. I found nothing. All the thoughts raced through my head and I just lay there and let them lead to the point of no return:  
  
Nobody cares if you're alive.  
  
Since my parents had shipped me off I had felt alone, unwanted, unimportant. For years I had been crying out for attention to their deaf ears. And when I really needed someone to help me, no one was there, no one cared.  
  
I wanted to just lay there in the snow and die. It seemed the perfect end to my life of loneliness. Thrown away like a useless piece of garbage on the ground is the way I thought I deserved to die.  
  
I imagined my parents getting the news. My mother struggling to produce a single tear why my father just went for another glass of alcohol. Or my sister Sarah getting the news and feeling triumphant in knowing that she had won again for staying alive while I died. My grandmother could I see shedding a tear. She had looked truly happy when I came to live with her. I could see her crying. But that was a lie to, most likely, just like everyone else; she just was feigning interest in my life.  
  
Lastly, I saw my brother Steven. I saw him being called at college, getting the news, and collapsing out of shear guilt. He had felt guilty when he left home, having left me there to deal with it all. He had been the one to cradle me when I cried and the one that gave me courage when I felt as if I was lost. I didn't want him to hurt but there is no other way.  
  
I let out a moan, or perhaps a slight scream, at the injustice of it all. My final breath before I just gave up trying to breathe.  
  
But somewhere in the darkness I heard a noise. I feared he had come back to finish me off. He had seen that nobody came and assumed he could have me again if he wanted.  
  
A hand cut through the darkness and I flinched away. The hand pushed past the bushes and I saw the crystal blue eyes looking down at me. The hands did not touch me and did not try. He pulled out a cell phone and dialed quickly. What he said was barely audible but I knew he had sent for help.  
  
He came slightly closer but still remained at a distance.  
  
"Help is on the way." He said, his voice changing as he recognized me.  
  
I saw the change in his eyes the second he recognized me. And it was then that I gained purpose to live. Somebody had found me and cared enough to rescue me.  
  
That night, he saved me. He saved me from my rapist and from myself.  
  
I closed my eyes and just imagined my happy place. Imagined a place far away where my rapist would never find me. In this place, there was no word for a rapist because they did not exist.  
  
But eventually I had to open my eyes.  
  
He was still there, waiting with me, and watching over me. Never had anyone done that for me. Never.  
  
But I still lingered on the ledge between life and death. I could just as easily given up and allowed myself to drift into death. But something provoked me to reach up and grab his hand. I held on for dear life. If it had not been for his hand, I would be gone.  
  
He did not take his hand away nor did he flinch when I took it. He held on.  
  
The ambulance came. It was full of men and every single one of them were strangers. Every single one of them could have been HIM. I could not stand the sight of them. Every cell in my body started to crawl in fear and disgust. If I had had the strength then I would have gotten up and ran.  
  
He looked at me and somehow understood.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you." He promised.  
  
He slowly brought his other hand to me and helped me off the ground. My dress was in taters, and the feeling of dried blood made my skin crawl. He somehow managed to get off his jacket without letting go of me. He slipped it around my shoulders and went with me into the ambulance. He protected me from the other men and no man stood in his way to question his presence.  
  
Before they closed the door I looked back out into the snow. It was red with my blood. I closed my eyes and finally started to really breathe again. I had survived.  
  
And at that moment I made a pact with myself. I would not let HIM win. Whatever it took, how ever long, I would regain my life.  
  
I'm not sure why I let him help me. I'm not sure why I felt comfortable with him. Every other man I grimaced at the sight of, as if they could have been the one. But with him, I felt safe.  
  
He never let go of my hand. He held on to me all the while I was at the hospital. As the doctors checked me, he stayed but politely turned away. When the police came and tried to pry from me information that I could not yet muster up the courage to say out loud, he got them to leave me alone.  
  
My grandmother came a little while later after the doctors and police were finished with me. She was startled by Jason's presence. He ignored her look and looked at me.  
  
"It's okay." I said, not recognizing my own voice. It sounded so ragged.  
  
"I'll get you some water." He said, slowly letting go of my hand.  
  
For a moment I did not want to let go. His hand had been a safety net and I let go hesitantly.  
  
He walked out and I met the eyes of my grandmother.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm so late." She said, her eyes tearing up. A single teardrop fell.  
  
"It's okay." I said, my voice still not my own.  
  
"No. I should have been here to keep the police out and the doctors away."  
  
"Don't worry, they didn't bother me much. He made sure they left."  
  
"You should not depend on that young man, Elizabeth. He is trouble, dangerous. He works for a man named Sonny Corinthos, a mobster."  
  
What? That was impossible. How could this kind and decent man work for a mobster? The stereotype that I think of when I see the word mobster is a cold-hearted man that can feel nothing and does not understand how precious life is. The man who helped me, who saved me, was not like that.  
  
"Not now, please." I begged, I already felt horrible enough without her trying to rule over whom I befriended. Sure, she is my grandmother but that does not give her the right to dictate my life.  
  
"Elizabeth, did this happen on your date?"  
  
"No. I did not go on the date."  
  
"Why not? I thought you were excited to go."  
  
"Lucky took one look at Sarah and changed his mind." I said, unemotionally.  
  
No canceled date was going to get me upset. Sure, if he had not canceled then none of this would have happened. But it was not his fault. It was not Sarah's fault. It was mine, being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
  
"Dear. . ." Audrey started to say but stopped.  
  
"Please, not now." I asked. I was not ready for a lecture.  
  
"I have to get back to work. I'll check in with you later." She said, getting up and leaving.  
  
I missed her brushing the tears away from her eyes as she exited the room.  
  
To me, she was just like everyone in my life, leaving me or shipping me off . . .  
  
He came back in holding a styrofoam cup in his hand. I took it and drank readily; the cool liquid satiated my coarse throat.  
  
"Thank you." I said, not just meaning it for the drink.  
  
"I wasn't going to leave you there." He said, matter-of-factly.  
  
"You know nothing about me but you helped me. If it wasn't for you . . ."  
  
"Then someone else would have come along."  
  
"Why are you trying to make it not sound like a big deal? It is a big deal, to me. I don't know how I can even repay you. God, I don't even know your name."  
  
"Jason."  
  
"Thank you, Jason." I said, holding out my hand towards him. He took it.  
  
For a while we sat in silence. I could not stand the silence. Every slight beep or sound from a machine or outside made me want to jump out of my skin. It made me want to cower and hide. But his hand never left mine. My safety net had returned.  
  
I wanted to close my eyes and fall asleep. The late hour made me drowsy. But I felt that if I closed my eyes then I would relive it. I did not want to relive that, EVER.  
  
I could not go to sleep.  
  
"Are you ever afraid to close your eyes? Afraid that if you do then you will see something you don't want to see?" I asked.  
  
I did not give him time to answer, I just continued.  
  
"Are you ever afraid that your dream about something in real life will transform into this monster that will hurt you more while you are sleeping? That's how I feel right now. I feel like if I close my eyes, HE will be there, waiting and watching. And since I'm alone in my dreams it will happen all over again and no one will be there to rescue me. No one would care."  
  
He did not even hesitate, "I'm still here."  
  
He stayed until I fell asleep. My last vision was of him holding my hand and watching over me.  
  
**Flashback**  
  
"Whose idea was it to go skating today?" My father asked my sister and me.  
  
"It was Lizzy's idea. I told her the ice was too thin." Sarah answered.  
  
"How many times do we have to do this?" My mother asked.  
  
The doctor walks in.  
  
"Elizabeth is going to be fine. Her temperature is almost back to normal. I would prefer to keep her here overnight just for observation."  
  
My parents looked at eachother.  
  
"Anything for our little girl." My dad said, feigning compassion.  
  
The doctor left.  
  
"I'll call work and tell them I cannot come in because of Lizzy." My dad said, walking out of the room.  
  
My mother walked closer to my bed.  
  
"When you keep him from work we loose money, and without money people cannot eat and buy pretty things. Did you think of THAT before you went skating?"  
  
"No." I said, my voice scratchy.  
  
I started to cry.  
  
"I will not have any of that." My father said, walking back into the room.  
  
"Liz-zy, Liz-zy, Diz-zy Liz-zy . . ." Sarah sang and nobody lifts a finger to stop her.  
  
"Stop it!" I scream out to her.  
  
**End of flashback**  
  
"Stop it! Stop it!"  
  
"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's just a dream." Jason said, bringing me back to the present.  
  
I looked around but it took a while to bring the room into focus. I wasn't with my parents and Sarah after falling through the ice, I was with Jason.  
  
Jason was still there.  
  
"Sometimes dreams can feel so real." I said to him.  
  
"But they are not. They cannot hurt you."  
  
"Unless the wounds have not yet healed." I said, looking down at all of my scratches and bruises.  
  
Just then two men walk into the room. I remember them from the night before.  
  
"Ms. Webber, I am Lieutenant Taggart. This is Commissioner Scorpio." The man said, soothingly.  
  
"Elizabeth, I know this must be difficult, but we need to ask you a few questions." The commissioner chimes in but his focus is on Jason and our clasped hands.  
  
His eyes are cold as he looks at the two police officers.  
  
"The more you can tell us the easier it will be to find him and bring him to justice before he hurts anyone else."  
  
"I did not see him." I muster enough courage to say.  
  
"We know it was dark but anything can help. What he was wearing, how tall . . ."  
  
Just then a pungent smell enters my nostrils. I cannot identify it but it seems so familiar. I remember it from the night before. It was on HIM. It makes me want to vomit.  
  
My eyes start to tear up and my stomach turns. The smell is so strong that it's all around me. As if HE was in the room next to me. I know that it's all in my head, that the smell is only a memory, but it feels so real.  
  
I look around to find something to empty my stomach into. I can feel the acid trying to come up my esophagus. And with it I feel the dirtiness I felt the night before. The way HE touched me.  
  
** "Don't say a word." **  
  
I close my eyes to try and block out the visions but in my head they are so much more real. I grab at Jason's hand harder and he does not pull his hand away.  
  
"Not now, Mac. Taggart. Go." Jason says.  
  
"What I don't understand, Mr. Morgan, is why you are here?" Taggart says.  
  
"Not now, Taggart." Jason said, a little harsh.  
  
"Don't you see? Everyone around you gets hurt, Morgan." Taggart chimes in.  
  
"He's with me." I say, hoping they will leave it at that.  
  
"Ms. Webber, I would find better friends."  
  
"He's the only one I've got." I said, defensively.  
  
They leave. I look at Jason and see that his eyes are still cold. They are unfamiliar to me.  
  
"Why are they so rough with you?" I ask, hoping the conversation will keep me from vomiting.  
  
"It's not important. I'm sorry about them. They are only bothering you because of me."  
  
"It's not you, Jason. They just want to find HIM."  
  
His eyes return to the soft blue that I recognize.  
  
"Thank you for staying with me." I add in, "But you must have a life you need to get back too . . ."  
  
"That doesn't matter. You need me and I'm here." 


	3. Moving In

* * * Jason was the one that got me out of the hospital. He was the reason I survived there. In the hospital I felt safe. But on the outside, every face was a stranger.  
  
I could not go home because things were still iffy with grams and she would not accept Jason in 'her home'.  
  
I had nowhere to go and so Jason stepped in, offering yet another helping hand.  
  
"I'm not sure about this, Jason." I said the moment he showed me the guest room.  
  
"Is something wrong with the room? You can stay in the master bedroom if you like. I can crash on the couch or in here. Whatever you want."  
  
"No, it's fine. There is nothing wrong with the room. I'm just afraid that if I stay here than I'm going to keep you from your life."  
  
"I don't have a life, or much of one. You will not interfere at all." He answered.  
  
Just then a pounding came on his door. I flinched for just a moment and his eyes settled on me. "I thought you didn't have a life?" I questioned, jokingly, letting him know I was okay.  
  
He ran down the stairs and opened the door. I heard a commotion and could not help myself from coming down the stairs. I had to make sure everything was okay. As I turned the corner I stopped short when I noticed the blond at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"I've tried calling you, I left messages, I've come by here, and I even went to Sonny. He had no clue where you were. So, what's going on? Where have you been? Please tell me you didn't go visit that prissy virgin."  
  
"Carly, you know I wouldn't do that. She made her decision about our relationship the second she chose to tell A.J. about Michael."  
  
"He misses you Jase, you know that? He asks about you and what should I tell him? You're the only father he's known and all the sudden he's thrown into a home with the Quatermaine's. They're like sharks feeding on . . . you know all the other little fish. And Edward keeps going on about Michael and I just can't . . ."  
  
"Carly, enough!" He interrupted.  
  
"What is with you Jason? You ignore me and my phone calls and your interrupting me when I'm talking about Michael's future?"  
  
"Carly, you decided his future the second you told A.J. that you would be his bride. He's with his real father and his family, isn't that enough?"  
  
"Jason, you know I don't love A.J., don't you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What's wrong? You're acting weird, almost defensive."  
  
"I just can't talk right now. I'll call you later."  
  
"Don't tell me that, Jase. I know you better. Is this about me picking A.J.? You know I would always pick you over him, don't you?"  
  
"Carly, as much as you'd like to believe it, the whole world does not revolve around you."  
  
"I don't think that, Jason. My top priority is Michael and his needs. He needs you in his life."  
  
"He needs me, Carly, or you need me?  
  
"Him and me both need you."  
  
"Carly, go to A.J. He is Michael's father and he needs him. You're going to marry him. If this keeps happening then it's just going to confuse Michael."  
  
She walked out and slammed the door. Jason blinked and then turned to go back up the stairs. He noticed me at the top of the stairs waiting.  
  
"So you heard that?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm sorry." I apologized.  
  
"It's fine."  
  
"So what happened to you not having a life?" I asked, jokingly.  
  
"I still don't. I use to but things change."  
  
"Who's she?"  
  
"Long story."  
  
"I've got the time." I offered  
  
He smiled, "Does that mean you'll be staying?"  
  
I gave the penthouse the once-over and let my eyes settle on him, "Sure."  
  
***  
  
A week or so after I moved in, I was already tired of hanging out inside the penthouse.  
  
"Eventually I need to join the rest of the world." I said, suggesting the outing.  
  
He rented a car and took me all around Port Charles, introducing me to the town. But he specifically avoided the area around the park.  
  
Instead of the park, he took me out of town a ways towards a bridge that nobody used. Everything was so quiet, peaceful, and beautiful. I could not stand it. It reminded me of the park and every snapping twig made me jump so we left.  
  
I never asked him about his job or his personal life. I assumed that he would let me know if he wanted me to. But one day, I found out for myself.  
  
Jason had decided to take me to Elm Street Pier. We had been going there for a few days, it was one place that never frightened me and not a lot of people were there.  
  
We were about to sit down on the bench when a bullet came flying out of nowhere. At the time, I had no idea what it was. I only saw something wiz past my face and then it was gone. We both ducked, in unison, Jason covering me with his body. It was as close as I had been to a man since HIM. But it did not bother me.  
  
"Are you hurt?" He asked, impatiently.  
  
He backed away when he noticed how close he was to me.  
  
"No. Was that . . ."  
  
"We have to get inside." He said, frantically looking around.  
  
His eyes went cold, but never towards me.  
  
Before I knew it, he had hold of my hand. In the other he had acquired a gun. He looked around searching for the shooter but came up empty-handed.  
  
"Jason?" I asked, confused by everything.  
  
"Please come with me. Just trust me and I'll explain everything."  
  
"You are the only one I trust." I say as he drags me into the backseat of a limo I had not heard him call.  
  
"Penthouse, Johnny. Now." He said as he shut the door.  
  
When we got there we took the elevator up to the penthouse level. For the first time I notice the door on the other side of the floor.  
  
"Who lives . . ." I start to ask as we get inside.  
  
He shuts the door and looks me over to make sure that I'm alright.  
  
"You need to know something." He says, seriously.  
  
"What?" I ask, concerned.  
  
"What I do is dangerous. When you are with me you are in danger."  
  
"I don't understand what you want me to say."  
  
"The last thing that I want is to make you a target. You have been through so much . . ." He says, rubbing his brow in frustration.  
  
"Jason," I say, putting my hand on his arm, "You are the reason I survived. If you are asking me to walk away . . . I can't. I won't. You are the only person I can trust. You're the only one besides the police and my grams that knows . . ."  
  
"I don't want you hurt because of me." He said, frustrated.  
  
"If it did, it wouldn't be your fault. I'd never blame you." I say, my hand still on his arm.  
  
"I'd blame myself." He said, pushing my hand away.  
  
I caught a look in his eyes right before he turned away. A look as if he was carrying the whole world on his shoulders.  
  
I could not understand why he was pushing me away. He was the one person that I thought that I could depend on. He was the one that was there through all the hurt and all the pain. But I guess all I was to him was a charity project.  
  
I back away towards the door.  
  
"I see. All I am to you is a pity project. You felt bad and wanted to help but as soon as I got in the way of you living your life you don't want to pretend to care anymore."  
  
"Elizabeth, that's not true. You know that's not the truth." He says, trying to gently grab my arm and get me to stay. I flinch away.  
  
"I don't know anything anymore. I'm just some naïve girl who got raped and took the hand of the first stranger who offered help, thinking he didn't have an agenda. But I guess my instincts were wrong. Everyone has an agenda."  
  
I stormed out.  
  
I didn't want to leave but my emotions got the better of me. Everyone I've known, that I've depended on, has walked out on me. I guess it was just a matter of time before Jason did the same. But for some reason, I thought he was different. I guess I was wrong.  
  
* * * I went to live with my grams, an interesting experience within itself. Sarah was there but I just stayed in my room with the door locked. I felt safe. But every time I went to sleep I kept the lights on for fear that some stranger would grab me from the shadows.  
  
Audrey had not told Sarah about the rape. She assumed that if I wanted her to know then I would let her know. I was glad that she didn't know because I didn't want her to look at me the way gram does now.  
  
I tried to call my brother many times. I would imagine him flying down here and taking care of me, making all my hurt go away. But I couldn't manage to do it. Every time I tried, my heart sank low in my chest and I just gave up.  
  
After being cooped up in the house I decided to venture outside. I walked to Kelly's which is less than a block away but it seemed to take forever because of the many times I had to look over my shoulder to see if I was being followed.  
  
When I got inside I was caught off guard by Lucky.  
  
"Hey." He said, simply.  
  
"Hello." I said, trying to stay calm.  
  
"I'm sorry about blowing you off that one night."  
  
The words caught in my throat. I was frozen in place and suddenly the diner felt like it was closing in on me.  
  
"Liz?" He called me back.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot, I need to get back home."  
  
"Oh, um, okay. I was just wondering if you'd like to try to go out again."  
  
I almost died right there.  
  
"I'm . . . um . . . I've . . ." I started but was interrupted by Bobbie Spencer.  
  
"Lucky, have you seen Maggie yet? She was supposed to start working fifteen minutes ago."  
  
He turned to answer and I just turned and ran. I ran all the way back to my grams without stopping. On the front porch I stopped and let out a few heaving breathes before opening the door and locking it securely.  
  
I tried not to think about Jason but I couldn't help it when I found his shirt in my suitcase. He had lent it to me one night and I guess it was mistakenly packed up with my clothing. I tried not to let the fact of his absence bother me, but it did.  
  
He had yet to contact me and two days had passed. Maybe I was right.  
  
I had to go to the hospital to go to the therapist that my grandmother was forcing me to see. The first time I had gone he had been waiting outside but this time I found the seat vacant.  
  
When I found the seat vacant I realized just how much I missed him. I realized how much he had been there for me. It made me sick to think about going through the rest of my journey alone.  
  
I went to the Elm Street Pier to clear my head. There were no gunshots this time. I sat on the ledge staring into the water. It looked so appealing. I imagined diving in and just letting myself sink down to the bottom. But I turned away afraid that if I looked any longer I would actually do it.  
  
**Flashback**  
  
"The water is freezing, I'm not getting in."  
  
"Come on, Liz. You'll warm up quickly." He said, pulling his shirt over his head.  
  
I stuck my feet in again but pulled them out once they had been in the icy cold water for a moment.  
  
"No. It must be below fifty degrees. I'm not getting in."  
  
"You're just chicken." He said, removing his shorts.  
  
Clad in only his blue boxers, he dived into the water. He came up a moment later, his red hair soaked and his lips slowly turning purple.  
  
"Jake, you're crazy." I said, staring at those lips. Purple, but so attractive nonetheless.  
  
He swam over. Before I knew it he had pulled me in, still clad in all my clothing, the water like ice sickles poking my skin.  
  
"You idiot." I screamed, trying to swim away. My long hair kept getting in the way of my vision as I tried to get away.  
  
He caught up quickly and pulled me close.  
  
"Liz, you have to learn to live a little. Do something daring and unexpected."  
  
"Like the stuff you do all the time?" I asked, sarcastically.  
  
In that moment, his brown eyes focused on me in a way they never had before. He pulled me closer, our lips just a millimeter apart. And then in a moment of pure lust and passion, he pulled me close and kissed me.  
  
**End of Flashback**  
  
I do not flinch at the memory. That was before my rape when I trusted men to behave and control themselves. That was before I lost all hope and my innocence. And now, here I am alone, so eager for the touch of another. But at the same time, my skin crawls at the idea.  
  
I turn to leave and there he is, Jason. His blue eyes instantly finding mine and for a moment all the uneasiness I felt seemed to melt away.  
  
I get up and try to walk by and pretend like it is nothing. He moves in my way.  
  
"Can we talk?" He asks, motioning towards the bench.  
  
"Okay." I say, following him.  
  
We sit down, only inches separating us. His crystal blue eyes stare into mine.  
  
"I'm sorry about the other day. The last thing I wanted was for you to leave angry."  
  
"I didn't mean what I said, at least not all of it." I say, getting lost for a moment in his eyes.  
  
"I know. I can only imagine what you are going through. But I could not lie to you; my job is dangerous. People get hurt and I do not want you to be a causality."  
  
"I know. I guess I just needed to test you. Everyone else in my life has walked away. I guess I needed to know that I could lean on you and you wouldn't do the same. I thought the only reason you were with me was because you pitied me."  
  
"Never, Elizabeth. I admire you. You are so strong, stronger than you think." He said, taking my hand.  
  
At that moment I found his eyes again. The heartbeats in my chest thumping so fast and loud that I thought he might hear. I longed for his touch. Not a friendly touch like when he held my hand. I wanted to feel how I felt with Jake so many years ago. I wanted to feel coveted, loved. And he was the only one I trusted enough to take that step with.  
  
"Jason, could I ask you a favor?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Before I ask, if you don't want to, it's okay. No pressure."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"It's just that, I have felt so unwanted recently. After that night, it has been difficult to . . . get close to anyone. And with you, I don't feel that between us. With you I feel comfortable and safe."  
  
I could not tell him. It was too embarrassing. Well, not so much embarrassing as . . . weird.  
  
"What do you need?" He asked, worried after the pause and silence in mid- thought.  
  
"Would you. . . hold me?"  
  
"Hold you?" He asked, his lips curving slightly for a brief second.  
  
"Just to see if I can do it."  
  
"Sure." He said, his eyes lit with anticipation but his expression remained the same.  
  
And soon enough I find his arms around me, like a soft blanket from your childhood that always makes you feel safe and warm.  
  
"That's not what I was going to say. It's just so . . . embarrassing."  
  
"You never have to be embarrassed to ask me something." He said, his voice soothing.  
  
But I couldn't ask him, not yet.  
  
"Never mind. This is good. It's perfect."  
  
And for a moment it was perfect. But just like everything else in my life, it had to get ruined.  
  
"Aww . . . isn't this cute?" A man's voice said, interrupting our moment.  
  
I turned to look at him and remembered him from before my rape. I had seen him in Kelly's the day I set the date with Lucky. I grimaced slightly at the memory.  
  
I remembered him there with the woman whom had come to visit Jason. I easily deduced who it was.  
  
Jason left the embrace and stood up to face the man.  
  
"I didn't mean to interrupt. Don't mind me. Please, continue." The man said, mockingly.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"I want you to stay away from my fiancée and I want you to stay away from Michael. I am his father and he belongs with me. He's already lost a year living with you."  
  
"A.J., you've made your point, for the hundredth time. So now you can go home to your son and your fiancée."  
  
"I just repeat it so I know you understand, little brother. Your not as quick as you use to be."  
  
I looked at Jason and could see that A.J. was making him angry. I could tell that if I wasn't there then Jason might have hit him.  
  
I stood up and walked over to Jason, putting a gentle hand on his arm.  
  
"Let's go." I said, simply.  
  
A.J. laughed and looked at Jason, "So, you've already replaced Robin."  
  
Then A.J. turned to me, "By the end of this relationship, if you have any information for me, I live in the big mansion on Main Street."  
  
Like I didn't know exactly what he was talking about. I was about to say something but Jason started to reply.  
  
"You stay away from her and go back to your family, your son, and your fiancée."  
  
"Why? Are you afraid she might let some information slip?" A.J. inquired.  
  
"If you're so insistent on spending time with your son, why aren't you there with him now? Jason hasn't been to see Michael in days!" I said, speaking up for him.  
  
A.J. look shocked for a moment and then let me have it; "You know nothing about me or my relationship with my son. Just because you're Jason's screwing partner . . ."  
  
I completely shut down the second he said the words. My body froze and I no longer heard him. The next thing I know, Jason had pushed A.J. against the railing of the stairs and was holding him there by the collar of his jacket.  
  
"Little bro, you know you'd be the first suspect if anything happened to me." A.J. started, "And Michael wouldn't have any father at all." He continued, hitting Jason where it hurt, his love for Michael.  
  
I rushed over and put a hand on his arm, "You don't have to do this, Jason. I'm okay."  
  
Momentarily his eyes met mine and then he let his grip on A.J. loosen, "Get out of my face."  
  
A.J. took off but not without painting a big smirk on his face.  
  
After Jason watched to make sure he left, he turned to look at me.  
  
"I'm sorry about him." He stated, knowing that some of his words had hit a little too close.  
  
"I'm sorry you're related to him." I said, jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
I saw a slight change as he wrapped on arm around my side and we started walking, "It's not by choice." He stated, and waited for my smile.  
  
He didn't have to wait long. 


	4. Intruder

* * * For a while after that, that was as close as we ever got to eachother. Jason would make sure to not get to close. But every time he touched me I couldn't help but smile.  
  
I moved back in to the guest bedroom of his penthouse. I felt completely safe in his home as if nothing could ever touch me. He tried to keep me away from his business and usually 'worked' while I was asleep so he could be there when I woke up and all day if necessary.  
  
But one day I woke up and he was not there.  
  
"Jason?" I called, coming down the stairs.  
  
There was no response.  
  
"Jason?" I called into the kitchen.  
  
Still nothing.  
  
Then I heard something at the door and thought it was him. I opened the door to discover a man that I didn't know just standing there.  
  
I screamed and slammed the door shut before he could say anything. I went in the desk drawer and took out Jason's gun.  
  
He didn't know that I had seen him put it away before. At times when I had nightmares and would wake up in the middle of the night, I would wait for him to come home. I'd seen him put his gun away when he would return. I would crawl back up to my room and let him wake me. He was always so sweet when he woke me up.  
  
But that day he was not there and all I knew was there was a man I did not know outside. I took the gun and went into my room upstairs and locked the door.  
  
A few minutes passed. I kept the gun aimed at the door just in case the man tried to get in. I was about to put it down when there was a knock at the door.  
  
"Elizabeth?" A muffled voice asked.  
  
I did not answer the voice I just remained silent. I aimed the gun directly at the center of the door. The arm that held it was shaky and it kept moving but I did not notice.  
  
"Open the door, please." The voice asked.  
  
"No." I screamed, putting the other hand on the gun in hopes of steadying it.  
  
"I'm going to open the door." The voice said.  
  
I moved farther against the wall and held the gun with both hands at the door of my room.  
  
The door started to open and I just pulled the trigger. Before I knew it he was on the floor, bleeding from his side. My face fell as I saw him before me. I dropped the gun and ran to his side.  
  
"I'm so sorry. Oh my God, Jason, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, please you have to know that I'm sorry . . ." I muttered.  
  
"Go across the hall, get Sonny." He said, his voice laboring.  
  
I ran down the stairs and through the front door. No man was there. I ran across the hall and no man was there either. I knocked on the door harshly.  
  
An Italian man with slick black hair in an expensive Italian business suit answered my poundings. He looked at me confused until it registered with him that I was 'the friend' Jason had across the hall.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked.  
  
"Sonny?" I asked, staying away from him.  
  
"Yeah. I'm Sonny. What's wrong, dear?" He asked, his voice trying to be comforting.  
  
"Jason . . .he's hurt real bad." I said, still staying far away from him.  
  
The man turned behind him and looked at another man whom I recognized as the one that had been outside the penthouse. I backed away.  
  
He ran in front of me to the penthouse across the hall. The man from before followed him. I knew that it was my fault and I should be there for Jason but I could not be in the penthouse with two men I didn't know. I was pressed against the wall and I just let myself slide down. I laid my head on my knees and just started to cry.  
  
The only thing that I had ever heard about guns was 'They kill people'. I knew that wasn't true all the time but the only cases I had ever seen on the news were 'shot to death'. And that was the vision in my head, Jason dead.  
  
The only person who had ever cared. The man who had saved me from myself and my rapist, dead because of me.  
  
"Elizabeth?" Sonny called from around the corner.  
  
When he turned he saw me crying in front of his door.  
  
"He's going to be fine. You can go and see him. He's asking for you." He said, extending his hand.  
  
It was the same type of gesture that Jason had made the night he saved me. But at his hand, I flinched away.  
  
"STAY AWAY!" I yelled at him.  
  
He took his hand back and looked at me shocked.  
  
At a noise from the other penthouse he turned and looked away.  
  
I could hear him say, "Jase, you shouldn't be getting up and walking around."  
  
"Sonny, just get Johnny and go inside your penthouse. Don't go near her." He said, protectively.  
  
The man left and Jason came closer. His shirt was off and his side was bandaged up.  
  
"I am so sorry, Jason. I didn't know it was you. I'm so sorry." I muttered, tearing up.  
  
"It's okay. We can talk about it later. Could you just come back inside with me?" He asked, his voice back to the soothing tone he used.  
  
"Okay." I said, brushing the tears from under my eyes.  
  
I got up and we started walked across when we ran into the two men. My heart froze and I stopped in mid-step.  
  
"They are friends. You don't have to worry." Jason told me.  
  
But they are still MEN. One of them could be HIM. I did not move.  
  
Jason put a protective arm around me and moved me to let the guys pass. The Italian man gave Jason a weird look before passing. But Jason held on until they were inside their penthouse and then let me go.  
  
We walked inside the penthouse and shut the door. I made him sit down on the couch once I remembered what the other man had said.  
  
"Do you need anything? I could get it for you."  
  
"I need to know how you got my gun." He said, seriously.  
  
"Sometimes I have nightmares. I cannot get to sleep so I wait up for you to come home. I worry. I've seen you put your gun away when you come home. I never planned on using it but when I saw that guy outside I got scared. I thought that it was HIM trying to come in the room. If I had seen you then I would not have used the gun." I explained.  
  
"Elizabeth, you do not have to hide things from me. It's okay that you know where my gun is. But it's not okay when you shoot first and think later. I told you my business is dangerous. The man outside is named Johnny. He is a bodyguard. He is here to protect you. I promise you that he will never hurt you. Do you trust me?"  
  
"Yes. You're the only one I trust."  
  
"Well, I trust him. I know it must be very difficult for you but I need you to know that if I'm ever not here and something bothers you, you can go to him or across the hall to Sonny."  
  
"Did you tell them what happened on Valentine's Day?"  
  
"No. I have not told anyone."  
  
"Could you apologize to Sonny, I yelled at him."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"But just explain to him but don't tell him what happened."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I'm really sorry, Jason."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"You shouldn't have to just 'understand' me shooting you. I could have killed you. What then?"  
  
"Elizabeth, you didn't." He said, putting his hand on my shoulder slowly.  
  
I started to cry and the tears came faster than I had the chance to wipe them away. He slowly put his arms around me and encircled me in a hug.  
  
"I don't know what I'd do without you. You're the only person I'm comfortable with. If I had hurt you . . ."  
  
"You didn't. Don't blame yourself."  
  
"You need to get to a hospital."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"You got shot. Were either of those men a doctor?" I asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then we are going to the hospital."  
  
"I don't like hospitals. I'll be fine."  
  
"I don't like them either, but you got shot. You need to see a doctor. And I'm going to shoot you again if you don't go." I said, not really meaning all of it, but determined enough to sound like I did.  
  
He chose not to argue, "Okay."  
  
*** Every time I had gone to the hospital since my rape, it always reminded me of that night. The smell of antiseptic and beeping of machinery and the bustle of all the people only caused my anxiety to go up.  
  
The moment we reached the floor I inhaled deeply to try and calm down. He noticed and put a comforting arm around me.  
  
As soon as we walked out of the elevator I could feel all the eyes on me. Bobbie Spencer, one the woman who had treated me, ran up.  
  
"Jason. Elizabeth. What's happened?" She asked, not able to see the bandage through Jason's shirt.  
  
Because she was there, it brought me back momentarily to that night. I grimaced and my throat closed and my words refused to come.  
  
"I've been shot." Jason answered.  
  
"Oh, Jason . . ." She started, but lead us to a room.  
  
He pulled up his shirt and let Bobby remove the bandage.  
  
"You're lucky whomever it was wasn't a good shot. . . the bullet only grazed your side." She voiced.  
  
I let out a sigh of relief.  
  
As Bobbie starting working on Jason, she began speaking.  
  
"So, Elizabeth, how've you been?"  
  
I did not want to speak but I forced myself through it. Jason cannot do everything for me.  
  
"I've been better." I said, simply.  
  
Jason watched the entire time to make sure I didn't get too uncomfortable.  
  
After he was all bandaged up we left the room. He went to sign himself out but Bobbie stopped me from following.  
  
"I just wanted to remind you that it's about time for your follow up HIV test."  
  
"Oh, I'll schedule that." I stated, hesitantly, hoping I wouldn't jump out of my own skin at the moment. Luckily, I didn't.  
  
I started walking over towards the nurse's station where Jason had gone to sign out but stopped dead when I noticed Jason talking to two people. One was a blond woman in a doctor's coat and the other was a man in a suit.  
  
I breathed in and hesitantly made my way over.  
  
"Lila told me to ask you to stop by if you had the time." The blond stated.  
  
"I will." He said, simply.  
  
"Jason, it's not just Lila that wants to see you around more . . ." The woman started as I arrived.  
  
When I got there, Jason could see my awkwardness and took my hand in his. Just the feeling of his touch calmed me down. The woman paused and I realized that her and the man beside her now were focused on me.  
  
"Are you going to introduce us?" The man in the suit asked.  
  
Jason looked over and me and searched my eyes for approval. I agreed.  
  
"Monica, Alan . . . this is Elizabeth."  
  
Monica held out her hand. I shook it hesitantly and the man greeted me, "Hello, Elizabeth."  
  
I smiled, a fake smile, but I attempted to be polite.  
  
"Elizabeth . . . where have I heard that name? . . ." Monica started, "Are you Audrey's granddaughter?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And Sarah must be you're sister." Monica added.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"She's a lovely girl. She was just in here inquiring about an internship." Alan started.  
  
Jason could tell that I really did not want to have a discussion about my sister.  
  
"We need to go." He told them.  
  
"I'm sorry about that." He apologized as we walked towards the elevator.  
  
"It wasn't them. I just don't want to talk about my sister." I stated.  
  
"You can't choose who you're related to." He stated, and I smiled, a real smile. 


	5. Sisters

* * * My father was a doctor, so I knew a few things about healing wounds. I convinced Jason to stay home until he got better but he was a very stubborn patient. But eventually, I got him to consider what would happen if the bullet wound did not heal correctly or if he got an infection, and he let me take care of him.  
  
Helping him made me forget about my own situation for a while. It was a blessing in disguise, for the both of us.  
  
During the time we were alone and he couldn't do much without caution, we learned a lot about eachother. I learned more about his accident and the situation he had with his family. I told him about my parents ignoring me and showering my sister with love and affection. And I also told him about my brother, Steven, which was the sole reason I survived in my parent's home.  
  
Sonny came over once to visit. Jason was all ready to apologize for me, but I apologized by myself. He forgave me and I felt comfortable being in the room with him, as long as Jason was there of course.  
  
Jason and Sonny needed to talk alone so I left the room. I swear the walls of the penthouse are so paper thin that I could hear every word. I tried not to be nosey but it was hard not to listen when Sonny started questioning Jason about me.  
  
"Where did you meet this girl?"  
  
Jason was never one to lie. He told me how he never liked to be untruthful, so if he couldn't say something then he would just remain quiet. But I knew because of Jason's situation with Sonny, that he would feel obligated to give him some answer.  
  
"At Kelly's." He answered, truthfully.  
  
"How do you know that you can trust her?" Sonny asked, which helped me understand what Jason had described as his 'suspicious nature'.  
  
"I just know that I can."  
  
"You just know? Aren't you a little suspicious that she shot you in your own penthouse? You cannot have someone that close."  
  
"It was an accident. She didn't mean it."  
  
"Accident? Then who was she trying to take aim at with your gun?"  
  
"Sonny, it's not like that."  
  
"Then tell me, Jase, why this girl? Does this have to do with Robin?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Johnny says this girl has been here a while."  
  
"This isn't business."  
  
"Fine. But just remember what Robin did. I saw what that did to you."  
  
"I'm done with Robin. Just let this go."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Sonny left and Jason came in to get me.  
  
"I'm sorry but I heard . . ." I started, not wanting him to reconsider trusting me.  
  
"You heard it all?"  
  
"Yes. Thank you for sticking up for me. You've done so much . . ." I started, getting really emotional.  
  
Despite his current healing bullet wound, he surrounded me in a gentle hug. I knew then I didn't have to say anything because he already knew.  
  
*** After Jason healed, he started to work during the night again. He made every effort to get home in case I woke up. But sometimes it was difficult even if he made his best effort.  
  
I woke up by myself and knew he was not home. I did not get scared, I would not let myself. I went into the kitchen and started making breakfast. It had become such a ritual that I could do it with my eyes closed. But I tried not to close my eyes when I was awake because I didn't like what I saw when they were closed.  
  
I was pouring orange juice into two glasses when I heard a knock at the door. I went to the door and opened it slowly. Johnny stood there and did not get any closer.  
  
"Ms. Webber?"  
  
"Yes?" I asked, uneasily.  
  
I tried to keep thinking that I could trust him because Jason did but it was still difficult.  
  
"Mr. Morgan's sister is here. She needs to speak with him urgently. Could she wait inside with you?"  
  
Sister? I remembered him mentioning her.  
  
"Sure." I said, curious.  
  
A young tall brunette stepped forward and I recognized her instantly. It was the girl from Kelly's the first night I met Jason. It felt like years ago. I suddenly felt so stupid for believing that she was his girlfriend.  
  
The girl stepped in and Johnny shut the door.  
  
"I'm Emily, Jason's sister." She said, holding out her hand.  
  
My eyes instantly went to her clothing: A halter-top and knee-length skirt. I looked at my own baggy pants and tee shirt, feeling a little self- conscious.  
  
"I'm Elizabeth." I said, not knowing how to explain my connection to Jason.  
  
"Uh, do you want something to eat or drink? I just made breakfast." I offered.  
  
"No thanks." She said, walking to the couch and sitting down.  
  
I went back into the kitchen and brought out the breakfast I had cooked for Jason and myself. I did not want to start eating without him so I sat down in the chair next to the couch.  
  
"Do you go to school?" I asked, trying to start up a conversation to break the silence.  
  
"Yeah. I'm a senior this year. You?"  
  
"I've already graduated." I answered.  
  
"Oh. Which school did you go to?"  
  
"I went to Mount Pleasant. It's not around here. I moved here to live with my grandmother after graduation."  
  
"Oh. Who's your grandmother? I've lived here most of my life so I might know her."  
  
"Audrey Hardy." I answered, hesitantly.  
  
"You're Sarah's younger sister?" She asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"She's going out with my friend Nikolas."  
  
"Oh. I'm surprised she's not with Lucky." I said, a little sarcastic.  
  
"Lucky? You know Lucky Spencer? He is one of my best friends!"  
  
"Kinda. We almost went on a date once." I said, cringing at the memory of what happened instead.  
  
"Why didn't you?" She asked, just as Jason opened the door.  
  
I almost jumped out of my seat. I was so glad that he was home so his sister could not ask any more details about Valentine's Day.  
  
"Elizabeth, you okay?" He asked, noticing my quick jump.  
  
"I'm fine." I said, heading towards the table.  
  
I could feel his eyes follow me as if he knew something was wrong.  
  
His sister jumped up and hugged him. I watched them together and felt a twinge of pain knowing that I couldn't be that comfortable with anyone.  
  
"Jason! It's been a while." She said, separating from him.  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"Grandfather wants to send me to some school in Maine to get me away from the 'bad influence' of Lucky and Nikolas. He says they are 'beneath me'."  
  
He sat down on the couch with her and I just concentrated on my food. I did not want to hear about Lucky and the possibility of my sister coming up in the conversation.  
  
"I'm just going to eat this in the kitchen." I announced, and left the room so they could be alone.  
  
But I could still here in the kitchen, despite my attempts to block it out.  
  
"So Jason, you've got company this early in the morning . . ." Emily started.  
  
"That is none of your business."  
  
"I'm sorry. Your business is your business. But I'm surprised . . . after Robin and everything that you could move on so quickly."  
  
"Robin is in my past. And it's not like that with Elizabeth. We are just friends."  
  
"Friends that live together?"  
  
"It's a long story, Em. One that is none of your business."  
  
"Sure. Fine. Whatever."  
  
He was silent.  
  
"Hey, Jase, you're busy a lot, right?"  
  
"Yeah, but what . . ."  
  
"Does she just stay here when you work?"  
  
"Em, leave it alone."  
  
"She does! I have an idea!" She said.  
  
Before I knew it she was in the kitchen.  
  
"Would you like to go shopping?" She asked as Jason came in.  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea, Em." Jason chimed in.  
  
"What do you know? You're a guy." She said, jokingly.  
  
I had to say that his sister intrigued me. She seemed the total opposite of Jason. They way he acted around her was different then he acted around everyone else. He knows everything about me and I hardly know anything about him. And I eventually need to join the rest of the population because I cannot spend the rest of my life in Jason's penthouse.  
  
"Okay." I said, surprising Jason and Emily.  
  
"You don't have to." He said instantly.  
  
"It's okay, Jason. I'll be fine. I need to do this." I said, trying to reassure him.  
  
"Overprotective much, Jase? I thought that was only with me!" She chimed in.  
  
"Fine, go." He said hesitantly, "But be careful. And if you need anything, just call."  
  
Without saying anything, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He forked over the entire contents.  
  
"Jason . . . I cannot accept this." I said, never having seen that much money.  
  
"There is no use in arguing." Emily said, pushing the money back towards me, "He'll just give you his speech about how he doesn't need it and he has too much and you'll eventually agree to make him happy. So, just skip all that so we can get a move on!"  
  
I looked up at him and his blue eyes assured me that it was the truth. I still hesitantly took all the money, feeling as if I was a bank robber just having it in my possession. As we left I turned to give him a thankful glance and he smiled in a way I had never seen him smile before.  
  
* * * Emily and I instantly hit it off. She was like the sister Sarah had never been. She told me a lot about Jason that I did not know. She told me about Robin and how she betrayed Jason by telling his brother Michael's paternity. I had heard it before from Jason but not to the extent that Emily was filling me in. I think it was more of a warning for me not to do the same then just friendly conversation. But it wasn't like that between us, so I had nothing to worry about.  
  
But our shopping and chatting ended when we ran into Sarah and Nikolas.  
  
"Em, you going to introduce us?" The guy, whom I knew instantly from Emily's description, as Nikolas, asked.  
  
"That's Lizzie." Sarah said with a disapproving tone.  
  
He moved closer and held out his hand.  
  
"I'm Nikolas Cassidine. I've heard a lot about you."  
  
I attempted to shake his hand but the moment our skin touched I flinched away.  
  
"You'll have to excuse my sister, she's rather rude." She said, nonchalantly.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said, wanting to apologize.  
  
He looked at me oddly and then at Sarah for some sort of explanation.  
  
"Lizzie, you're normally all over guys, why the sudden change? Don't tell me you've changed."  
  
I do not know what provoked me to do what I did next, but to this day I am happy that I did it. I stood up to my sister.  
  
"Sarah you have no idea what is going on in my life. You never have. That's because you've never cared. So you can stop the pretending to be the 'perfect sister' and just act like the bitch you truly are."  
  
Emily at the time had a crush on Nikolas so she agreed with me there. She followed me as I stormed off into a random store.  
  
"Wow." Was all she had to say.  
  
* * * When I got back to the Penthouse, Jason was waiting. I was met with his worried eyes.  
  
"I'm okay." I said, calming him down.  
  
"I heard from Em that you had a run-in with your sister."  
  
"I did. I don't want to talk about it." I said, walking up the stairs to his guest room.  
  
I shut the door and dropped my bags in the corner of my room. I sat on the edge of the bed and just started crying. Part of me did not want him to come up and rescue me; I need to learn to do that on my own. But when he did come up, I did not stop him from taking me in his arms and making my pain go away for a brief fleeting moment.  
  
"When you told me about your accident you mentioned how it caused a 'rift' in your family. Well, I never had an accident; I was just never good enough. Sarah has always been perfect. She had straight-As. She wants to be a doctor and she's just so perfect. My parents did not want anything less and when I didn't measure up they just stopped caring. I battled for their affection but I always fell short in their eyes. My brother use to be the one that stood up for me but he went away to school. With no support system, I went to search for affection in the wrong places. I became very promiscuous and that is why my parents sent me here. Not to straighten me out, just so they wouldn't have to deal with me or listen about the whole town discuss their daughter. And when I ran into Sarah today she just shoved it all in my face. But that's not who I am. It's not."  
  
"Elizabeth, do not look at yourself through other peoples eyes or try to live up to their expectations. Live for yourself."  
  
"How can I? I can barely go to the mall without checking every corner and turning to check behind my back. Every time a man came near me I just wanted to scream and run away. It just feels like I've been running since that night and I'm never going to slow down. Eventually I'm going to run out of breath."  
  
"But you didn't run. You survived. And each day it will become easier."  
  
"The other day, something reminded me of my first boyfriend, Jake. And when I thought about him, I wasn't frightened or scared, I was calm. We shared happy memories, like our first kiss, and I still cherish those memories. The thought of being coveted and loved is something I still crave. But every time I'm even in the same room with a man I want to run away. That night, HE stole something from me that I will never get back. And HE will never be brought to justice because I didn't look to see who it was."  
  
"Someday he will be brought to justice. And someday you will not feel the way you do now. You will fall in love and find someone that will make you happy for the rest of your life."  
  
"But that's it, I don't feel scared when I'm with you. Or afraid that someone will be lurking in the shadows. I feel safe. You do that for me."  
  
"Elizabeth . . ."  
  
"Can I ask you something? If you don't want to, that's fine."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Could you kiss me? You know, just to see. You are the only one I'm comfortable with and . . ." I started to mutter, my nerves starting to get the best of me.  
  
"Is that what you want?" He asked, soothingly.  
  
That's when I noticed how close we were to eachother on the bed. His one arm still draped around me.  
  
"Yes." I said.  
  
I watched him as he slowly closed his eyes and began to lean in. His hand came up slowly and cupped my cheek. My heart started to race and my chest began to pound. My eyes focused on his lips coming ever closer and the moment before they touched, I jumped out of his embrace. I went to the corner of the room, farthest away from him.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said, once he opened his eyes.  
  
"Don't apologize. It just means you're not ready yet."  
  
"I'm not sure I'll ever be." 


	6. Kiss

* * * He never brought up the attempted kiss. Not once. I went on more frequent shopping trips with Emily but I still felt like I would jump out of my skin every single time we saw a man. She started to notice and one day began to ask questions.  
  
"Why are you so jumpy?" She asked.  
  
"Um . . . I just get like this sometimes. No biggy. It comes and goes."  
  
"But it happens every time we go out. In any public place you look like your getting ready to run away. What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Is it about Jason's business? I use to be jumpy too but nothing ever happens."  
  
"Yeah, that's it." I answered, unconvincingly.  
  
"Why don't you live with Audrey and Sarah?"  
  
"We don't really get along well."  
  
"How did you end up staying with Jason?"  
  
"It kinda just happened." I answered, not sure how to explain it without revealing too much.  
  
"Are you two, you know, together?" She asked, trying to be subtle.  
  
"No, we are just friends."  
  
"You seem really close."  
  
"Well, he is one of the only people I know in Port Charles. And I've gotten to know him pretty well."  
  
"How well?" She asked, childishly.  
  
"Not like you think." I said, comfortably.  
  
The thought of being intimate with Jason was completely comfortable in theory. But in real life, I could still not imagine being intimate with anyone. Not yet. Maybe not ever.  
  
"I know this is a personal question, and you don't have to answer, but have you ever-you know-done it?"  
  
We had been walking and I stopped dead in my tracks. There in front of me was a man, a little too close for comfort. And in combination with Emily's question, my heart almost leapt from my chest.  
  
"Elizabeth? Are you okay?" She asked with a worried expression.  
  
But I wasn't upset or scared, I was angry. I had no idea where this anger had come from but it came out in the worst possible way.  
  
"You wanna know why I'm so jumpy? It's because that night when Lucky ditched me I went to the wrong place at the wrong time and some man took advantage of me. He took something away from me that I can never get back. A moment that is supposed to be so special but now it haunts me. I have to look behind my shoulder when nothing is there. I cannot trust anyone. And no, I'm not 'with' your brother. I cannot even stand to kiss someone let alone jump into bed. And you want to know how I know Jason? He is the one that pulled me up bleeding from the snow."  
  
I stopped out of breath. Her wide eyes peered into mine as we stared at eachother in silence.  
  
"Elizabeth, I'm so . . ." She started to say.  
  
"Not now. I get enough pity from your brother." I said, half meaning it.  
  
I knew that Jason did not pity me. I knew that he genuinely cared and his compassion was real. But I didn't want his compassion. I did not want his help. I want to get over this myself. I want this to be over now and just be able to live normally. I want to gain back my life on my own. And the only way I could see doing that was to find the man who raped me and make him pay.  
  
* * * For the first time since the attack, I went back to the park. The police line had been taken down and all that was left in the snow was the footprints of the police who came and went and people that mindlessly passed over it without knowing what had happened. For a moment I just stared at the snow, as if hypnotized by it.  
  
I do not know how long I was standing there but I heard a twig break behind me. I turned, remembering vividly my mistake last time, and was met with brown eyes.  
  
I jumped back, startled, and fell into the snow. Fell into the same spot in which it had happened. I wanted to be strong, just brush myself off and get up, but I couldn't.  
  
He held out a hand. I did not flinch this time, I did not run, I took it.  
  
"Emily called me, she is looking for you everywhere."  
  
"Don't you ever, sometimes, not want to be found?"  
  
"If you want, I can just tell her that I haven't seen you."  
  
"I don't want you to lie for me."  
  
"Then let me tell you the truth. Emily is not the only one worried about you. Your grandmother is worried sick and today Sarah even told me she regretted your fight the other day."  
  
I pulled my hand away.  
  
"You believe her act? All she has ever done is play the drama queen. I could see through it but my parents, my grams, they buy right into it. And now she's corrupted you."  
  
"If you knew my family, you'd know I am already corrupted." He said, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
I stayed silent.  
  
"Let me take you home or to Emily." He asked.  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Let me help you."  
  
"Sarah is lucky to have you. She is lucky to have someone in her life. I'll never have that."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"It is, more than you know. Just go, you have done enough." I said, a little harsher than I really meant to.  
  
"What should I tell Emily?"  
  
"Tell her that I'm okay. That I'm sorry that I blew up at her."  
  
"Okay, see ya around."  
  
"Thanks, Nikolas. For a boyfriend of Sarah's, you're alright."  
  
He smiled.  
  
* * * After he left I just sat on the bench staring at where it happened. I tried to remember any little detail that might help me remember him but I came up with nothing. All I remembered was the look in his eyes, the smell of his soap, and his words, and that was not enough to find and convict someone.  
  
I had no idea where to go. I could not go back to Jason. I could not stay with gram or Emily. So I got up and just started walking in no particular direction. I ended up at Kelly's.  
  
When I walked in I went directly to the corner booth. I did not want to be seen. I just wanted to sit there by myself and try to think of any little detail that might help. But fate intervened once again in the form of song lyrics from the jukebox:  
  
What once was hurt  
  
What once was friction  
  
What left a mark  
  
No longer stings  
  
Because Grace makes beauty  
  
Out of ugly things  
  
(U2/Grace/All That You Can't Leave Behind)  
  
The song sparked something within me. I realized that I was allowed to hurt, feel pain, be angry, but I should not let it rule my life. I realized that this experience was just one of the harsh lessons of life. I could either let my anger and vengeance rule my life or I can learn from my experience.  
  
I do not want something holding me back from my dreams. I want to fall in love. I want to get married. I want to have children. And if I let this fear rule my life, then I will have none of that.  
  
I left Kelly's and hailed a cab. In no time I would be where I wanted to be.  
  
* * * When I got out of the elevator, Johnny was there.  
  
"Ms. Webber."  
  
"Johnny, I just want to apologize for before."  
  
"It's okay, I'm not the one you shot." He cracked a smile.  
  
"Is he here?"  
  
"His sister came over and he left with her."  
  
"Oh." I said, feeling horrible.  
  
"I'll just be inside."  
  
"Okay. Do you want me to let him know your back? I could call his cell." He asked.  
  
"No, I want to be a surprise."  
  
"Mr. Morgan tends to dislike surprises."  
  
"Maybe I can get him to change his mind." I said.  
  
He smiled.  
  
I went inside and shut the door behind me. The penthouse was dark but with the flick of a switch it was the same warm place that for some reason, I call home.  
  
I prepared dinner, lit candles, and found the appropriate music. And then I waited. * * * He came home late, his eyes dark, but they lit as soon as he entered. He said nothing but crossed the room towards me.  
  
"When did you get back?"  
  
"A little while ago. I'm sorry if you were worried."  
  
"Emily told me what happened. You think I pity you?"  
  
I walked closer to him.  
  
"I was in a bad place. I said a lot I did not mean. I'm sorry. And the next time I see Emily I am going to apologize for what happened."  
  
He wrapped his arms around me, slowly, but I didn't fidget or pull away.  
  
"I'm glad you're okay."  
  
I pulled away from his embrace. For a second he looked at me as though he had done something wrong by holding me.  
  
"You've done so much for me. You hardly knew me and you welcomed me into your home. Thank you."  
  
Before he could answer, I asked, "Would you dance with me?"  
  
He smiled and took me in his arms. I pressed the button and waited for the music to begin.  
  
When you look at the world  
  
What is it that you see?  
  
People find all kinds of things  
  
That bring them to their knees  
  
I see an expression  
  
So clear and so true  
  
That it changes the atmosphere  
  
When you walk into the room  
  
So I try to be like you  
  
Try to feel it like you do  
  
But without you it's no use  
  
I can't see what you see  
  
When I look at the world  
  
When the night is someone elses  
  
And you're trying to get some sleep  
  
When your thoughts are too expensive  
  
To ever want to keep  
  
When there's all kinds of chaos  
  
And everyone is walking lame  
  
You don't even blink now, do you  
  
Or even look away  
  
So I try to be like you  
  
Try to feel it like you do  
  
But without you it's no use  
  
I can't see what you see  
  
When I look at the world  
  
I can't wait any longer  
  
I can't wait till I'm stronger  
  
Can't wait any longer  
  
To see what you see  
  
When I look at the world  
  
(U2/When I Look At The World/All That You Can't Leave Behind)  
  
After the song ended we stayed holding eachother just a little too long. He eventually pulled away for fear that I might take it the wrong way. But I did not. I knew he cared about me. I knew that he would never hurt me.  
  
He started to walk towards the food that I had put on the dinner table.  
  
"Jason?"  
  
He turned back towards me, his eyes still lit up.  
  
"Could I ask you just one more favor?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Could we try it again?"  
  
I thought I'd have to ask it out loud again, but I didn't. He did not need to hear it again. He remembered.  
  
He walked over so slowly and this time my heart raced but for a totally different reason. Just inches from me, he took his hands and put one on the back of my neck. The other, ever so delicately, cupped my cheek.  
  
He hesitated only a moment. His blue eyes peering into mine, again looking past everything and into my soul. His lips curved ever so slightly that if you blinked then you would have missed it.  
  
He leaned forward and separated the distance between our lips. The kiss was everything I imagined it would be, soft and delicate. And for a moment the whole room melted away and all I knew was him, his scent, his touch, and that moment was the moment I realized that everything I wanted was right in front of me.  
  
And it scared me. 


	7. Honesty

After the kiss, we ate in silence. Neither of us could say anything. And then I remembered what Nikolas told me.  
  
"I think I need to go home." I announced.  
  
He continued looking down at his plate but he stopped eating.  
  
"If that's what you want."  
  
"I do."  
  
His eyes met mine.  
  
"I'll help you pack." He said, standing up from the table.  
  
I stood up and tried to give an explanation but no words came. I could feel the slight distance between us. I just watched him go up the stairs.  
  
"Jason?" I called, but he continued up the stairs.  
  
I reconsidered my decision and I knew I was making the right one. My grandmother and sister needed me. They were worried and they had that right. But at the same time my soul ached as if I had just lost the most valuable thing in my life. And in a sense, I had.  
  
He came down a moment later with a single suitcase. He said nothing but gave it to Johnny to put in the limo that would drive me home.  
  
"Jason, this doesn't mean that what you did was not appreciated. You have done so much for me, so much that I'll never be able to repay you. You listened, you let me cry, and you just let me be. I could be myself around you and no one else. We shared something special and I don't want to leave with you angry at me."  
  
"I'm not angry." He said, simply.  
  
He slowly pulled me close, as if unsure how I would react. He cradled me in his arms and then let me go. Then he started to go up the stairs yet again.  
  
I decided not to go up after him. I knew that I should but I could not face him. I could not face him when he was distant. The Jason that was behind that front was the Jason that I cared about. But this new Jason, I was unfamiliar with.  
  
* * *  
  
When I came home my grandmother greeted me with open arms. She had some idea where I had been but she never asked. She knew that I needed time.  
  
Sarah was less welcoming but never said anything in my presence. She remained by herself in her room when I got home. She only momentarily glanced at me in the hallway. But I knew that despite our differences, she was happy that I was back.  
  
I did not see Jason for a while after that. Every time I stopped by he was conveniently 'not there'. It was then that I realized how much just his presence had been comforting to me.  
  
I started seeing a lot more of Emily and we had more frequent trips to the mall and days out. But Emily was a friend of Lucky and Nikolas and eventually we had to include them in our get-togethers. At first it was difficult to be around Lucky, like a constant reminder of the worst day of my life. But I keep thinking that if he hadn't ditched me I might not have met Jason. So with that thought in mind, I smile.  
  
Nikolas was a little harder to get close to. I wasn't scared of Nikolas like I was with most men because he was always so gentle and kind. But it was the fact that he was seeing Sarah that bothered me. But he broke it off with Sarah not long after we started becoming friends, so that made it a little easier for the both of us to get close.  
  
Emily somehow let it slip to Lucky and Nikolas that I was raped. I was angry at first but eventually got over it. We became closer friends because of her little slipup and soon it was like we had always been like this. But every time I laughed or cried I thought about Jason and it started to get to me to the point where I, myself, became closed off.  
  
At Kelly's one day, sitting around the table with Nikolas, Lucky, and Emily, everything started to come into focus.  
  
"What's up with you and Jason?" Emily asked.  
  
"Jason? You're brother, Jason? How does Liz even know him?" Lucky directed at Emily.  
  
"Jason is just bad news." Nikolas said, his eyes dark.  
  
I did not want to answer Emily. I did not want to hear Nikolas badmouth Jason. I just wanted to leave my body at that moment, but unfortunately, that wasn't a possibility. I tuned them out and listened to the jukebox:  
  
From the cruel sun  
  
You were shelter  
  
You were my shelter and my shade  
  
(U2/Wild Honey/All That You Can't Leave Behind)  
  
"LIZ!" Emily shrieked, apparently she had been for some time.  
  
"What?" I asked, unaware.  
  
"Did you just check-out?" Lucky asked, worried.  
  
I looked at all three of them. Each had the same expression of concern on their faces. I knew that they pitied me for what happened. Their expressions as familiar to me now as the back of my own hand.  
  
"I'm sorry. I just got caught up in the song."  
  
"You never answered my question!" Emily stated, obviously getting impatient.  
  
"Nothing. I haven't seen him in a while."  
  
"But he . . ."  
  
"I know, he was wonderful to me. But ever since I moved back home he wants nothing to do with me."  
  
"It's better that way. You won't be caught in some mob war." Nikolas stated.  
  
"You were living with him?" Lucky asked, surprised. I guess Em covered when I wasn't paying attention.  
  
I tried to avoid his eyes. The time between Jason and me was personal. I did not want to share my memories with anyone. I wanted to keep them close to my heart and cherish them, not share them with others.  
  
Emily could obviously tell that it was not something I wanted to talk about.  
  
"Hey guys, help me pick out a song?" She asked, both remained still. They wanted answers.  
  
She left, but the jukebox was near the table so she was still in earshot.  
  
"For a little while after I moved here I lived with him. Nothing happened." I said, nonchalant.  
  
I acted as if I was detached, as if it didn't matter to me what I had shared with Jason. But it did.  
  
Emily joined us again.  
  
"Would either of you like to dance?" I asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Sure." Lucky chimed in, getting up and whisking me to an area not so crowded with tables.  
  
We started to dance to no music at all. But eventually Emily's selection came on and Nikolas and Emily joined us.  
  
And love is not the easy thing  
  
The only baggage you can bring . . .  
  
And love is not the easy thing . . .  
  
The only baggage you can bring  
  
Is all that you can't leave behind  
  
And if the darkness is to keep us apart  
  
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off  
  
And if your glass heart should crack  
  
And for a second you turn back  
  
Oh no, be strong  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
What you got they can't steal it  
  
No they can't even feel it  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
Stay safe tonight  
  
You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been  
  
A place that has to be believed to be seen  
  
You could have flown away  
  
A singing bird in an open cage  
  
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
What you've got they can't deny  
  
Can't see it, can't buy it  
  
Walk on, walk on,  
  
Stay safe tonight  
  
And I know it aches  
  
And you heart it breaks  
  
And you can only take so much  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
Home . . . hard to know what it is if you've never had one  
  
Home. . . I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home  
  
That's where the hurt is  
  
I know it aches  
  
How your heart it breaks  
  
And you can only take so much  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
Leave it behind . . .  
  
(U2/Walk On/All That You Can't Leave Behind)  
  
I pulled away from Lucky, unknowingly. It was just not the same. While I was dancing with Lucky I felt like I was trying to fill the void that Jason left. But Lucky was not Jason, and he could never be.  
  
I just stood there, motionless for no reason, and sometimes that's the best reason of all. He stood, watching, calling my name as if he could draw me back from the place I had gone to. But it wasn't a place he could rescue me from. It was a place where I had to rescue myself.  
  
I opened the door to Kelly's and just began to run. I did not know where I was heading but I knew in my heart the destination. I had to stop a block away, my breath heaving from my chest. I thought I would collapse but I did not. I stayed only a moment more before continuing my journey.  
  
The elevator doors were cold and when they opened, there he was, and I stopped at the sight of him. I took deep breaths to gain back my composure and all the while my eyes never left his for fear he was just a hallucination.  
  
His eyes were marked with worry and concern. He looked at me and concluded by my heavy breathing that I was running from something or someone.  
  
"Elizabeth, what's wrong?" He said, placing on hand on my shoulder but just as quickly removing it.  
  
"This is wrong." I muttered out in one quick breath.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I've been running so long. I can't do it anymore. I cannot lie to myself."  
  
He was silent.  
  
"That night you did not just save me from HIM, you saved me from myself. I was content with just laying there and letting the cold and the hurt take me out of this life. I thought I had nothing to live for. But you came and you held out your hand, without an agenda, and helped me. You made me believe in love, something I've never had before. Without you . . . I wouldn't be here. The reason I ran away was not because of you, it was because of me. I did not think I could function without you. And now I've realized I don't want to. I've realized that I can but it just isn't the same without you there. I don't need you in my life anymore, but I want you in it."  
  
The elevator doors shut, trapping us in an elevator together. No one moved to press a button.  
  
"Jason, please say something."  
  
But he had no words to express what he wanted to say. He moved closer and separated the distance between us. Our lips met, and everything in my life seemed to wash away as this newfound electricity surged through my body.  
  
A moment later we parted.  
  
"Never think you have nothing to live for, Elizabeth. You have so much to live for."  
  
We left the elevator, hand in hand, and went upstairs to his penthouse. We sat down on the couch and for a moment neither of us could say anything.  
  
I began, "I came by a few times but you never answered. I was afraid you didn't want me."  
  
"Never." He started, as he took my hand in his, "I've been busy."  
  
"I thought you said you didn't have a life."  
  
He smiled.  
  
"I was at Kelly's today with Emily, Lucky, and Nikolas and this song came on. And it said something like 'Home . . . it's hard to know if you've never had one'. It made me realize that the only place that I've felt at home is here. Growing up I always felt like I was on the outside, that I didn't belong. Even with Steve there, I felt like an imposter. Since I've gone back to my grandmother's house, she gives me these looks like I'm foreign to her or something. And Sarah just treats me as she always has. But the point of this, which I'm taking forever to get to, is that I've never felt comfortable in my own skin until I met you. You did that for me when it was the last thing I thought possible. Thank you."  
  
"Your room is always here, if you want it." He offered.  
  
I smiled. 


	8. A Nurse's Ball Revelation

It was hard leaving his penthouse to go back to my grandmother's home. I almost thought about staying but I felt as if I owed my grandmother something for keeping my secret.  
  
As soon as I got home I noticed my grandmother's excitement. I said nothing, afraid that I did not want to know what it was about. Her idea of excitement was hardly ever the same as mine. I went causally upstairs to my room, shut the door, and my eyes instantly found the mysterious letter waiting on my bed.  
  
Eager but hesitant to know what the envelope contained, I approached it slowly. I carefully, and slowly, took my time opening it up. I pulled the card out slowly and opened it.  
  
It read:  
  
"Elizabeth,  
  
I know that this is last minute, and I would understand if you did not want to come. But I hope that you do decide to come and I promise you an enjoyable evening. If you are confused about where this whole rambling mess of words is going . . . I would be honored if you would be my date to the Nurse's Ball. The Nurse's Ball is a charity event and every ticket helps. Please let me know soon!  
  
~Nikolas."  
  
Is this what my grandmother was excited about? An invitation to a 'Nurse's Ball'? Secondly, do I even want to go? Lastly, is Nikolas really the man I want to go with?  
  
Whatever the answer to those questions, I do need more information about the event. And given my grandmother has lived here her entire life, she might know more than I. I walked down the stairs and found her in the sitting room looking through a medical journal.  
  
"Gram?" I asked, hesitantly.  
  
"Yes, dear?"  
  
"What's the Nurse's Ball? I know that it is a charity event but other than that . . ."  
  
She patted the seat next to her. I sat down beside her to make her happy despite my own reservations.  
  
"The Nurse's Ball is a formal affair that's goal is to raise awareness of the disease HIV/AIDS and the proceeds go towards the search for a cure. Many people from town put together skits for entertainment and it is hosted by a very eccentric woman by the name of Lucy Coe. It is rather enjoyable. I attend every year."  
  
"A formal affair?"  
  
"Yes, dear. No jeans and sneakers allowed. Women in gowns, men in tuxedos."  
  
I knew it was for a good cause and I knew that with Nikolas as my date I would have at least one person to talk to if it was a waste of time.  
  
Before I really knew what I was saying, I asked, "Where is the best place to find a formal gown?"  
  
* * * I hadn't really wanted her to come along but a feeling of guilt set in when I realized that I hadn't really attempted to give her a chance in the first place. I asked if she would like to come along and she hesitated only momentarily before agreeing. We drove to Wyndam's and went directly towards the formal wear.  
  
"So, who's the lucky young man?" She asked while looking through a rack of dresses.  
  
She paused her search while waiting for my response. I felt as though she was waiting for me to say Jason so she could berate him. But I put all thoughts of this behind me and answered.  
  
"Nikolas Cassidine."  
  
"I was sure that Lucky Spencer would ask you." She offered.  
  
Well, if Lucky had asked, my answer would be no. As much fun as I have hanging out with him, a date with Lucky would bring me back to a place I was not ready to go to yet.  
  
"No. I'm sure he's going with Emily." I offered.  
  
She pulled a deep orange dress from the rack and held it up, "What about this dress, dear?"  
  
I looked it over and knew that it was something I would never wear, but I offered to try it on to please her. When she had given me three gowns to try on and I had found two, I rushed back towards the dressing room to escape our uncomfortable conversation.  
  
Later on, with purchased gown in hand, we left in the car to go back home. Despite my need for a silent car ride, Audrey was committed to start a conversation. When at last she realized it was a lost cause, she sighed and sat silently.  
  
"I'm sorry." I offered, knowing that she meant well.  
  
"Don't apologize, dear."  
  
"I'm sorry that I'm not that ten year girl that use to be excited to visit you."  
  
Audrey said nothing and we went back to our uncomfortable silence for a minute.  
  
"I don't know what you expected when Sarah and I came to live with you, but I know it wasn't this. For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry things turned out this way. Sometimes I want so much to be that little girl, without a care in the world, and only the endlessness of the afternoon ahead of me, but I cannot be that girl."  
  
"I know it has s been hard since you've come to live with me. And I know how it was for you at home with your parents. I just hoped that we could form some kind of relationship. It's hard to live without some family to fall back on, and I want you to know that anytime you need me, I'll be here."  
  
I smiled, as did she, and the silence was for the first time comfortable.  
  
* * * Emily and I agreed to get together to do eachother's hair and makeup. We got together early in the afternoon so we would have time to experiment, which we did. Two hours before Nikolas and Lucky were to pick us up from my grandmother's home, with half my hair in curlers and two shades of lipstick on, a knock came at my bedroom door. Much to my dismay, and to Emily's, it was Sarah.  
  
"What do you want?" I asked, especially not in the mood to talk.  
  
"I heard that you are going with Nikolas." She offered.  
  
I turned briefly to look at Emily and she smiled knowing how much it must be annoying Sarah to have me going with Nikolas to the Nurse's Ball.  
  
"So. What does it matter to you?" I asked, becoming defensive.  
  
"You know that you only going with him to rub it in my face."  
  
"Whatever you want to tell yourself, Sarah. I'm going because he is my friend and he asked me to go and I wasn't about to imitate you and act like a bitch." I offered.  
  
She left and I turned to Emily to look at her surprised reaction.  
  
"WOW!" She offered, "You told her!"  
  
But my interaction with Sarah had reminded me of my last interaction with her, at the mall, when she was still with Nikolas. Then, Emily had congratulated me because she liked Nikolas. Was this still the case?  
  
"Are you okay with me going with Nikolas?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, sure." She started in-between putting on a different shade of lipstick, "I'm happy for you two. And besides, my heart is with Lucky."  
  
Suddenly I realized she might have misinterpreted my date with Nikolas as an actual date.  
  
"Em, you do know that I am just going with Nikolas as a friend, right?" I asked.  
  
She turned, "Elizabeth, it's written all over your face. Your head over heals for my brother. But Jason isn't the most available guy and you know that."  
  
It came as a shock to me that my feelings were more obvious to her than to me.  
  
"What? I'm not head over heals for your brother." I started, half- heartedly arguing, "I'm grateful for what he did to me and I appreciate him and our friendship. Our relationship is complicated and you wouldn't understand."  
  
"I understand, Elizabeth. At first it was just the intrigue of a mysterious stranger that saved you. Next you see beyond the savior and see that the man isn't half bad looking. Then, at last, you realize that he is the only one you can imagine yourself with. Then you scold yourself for following the obvious storyline and try to deny it. But it's all over your face. I'm surprised Nikolas can't see it."  
  
Taken back briefly at how close she was, I answered, "I think that lipstick will go nice with your dress."  
  
She looked at me, knowingly, "Yeah, it will."  
  
Our discussion of that matter was closed. She knew that she had figured it out but was kind enough not to rub it in my face. But the horrible part of her knowing is the fact that I can no longer deny it; I had to face it straight on.  
  
* * * "Elizabeth? Emily? Two young men are down here waiting!" Audrey casually yelled up the stairs.  
  
She turned towards the brothers; "They've been up there for hours."  
  
Lucky and Nikolas turned to eachother, surprised and confused as to what could take them so long.  
  
Emily walked down the stairs first. She wore a deep lavender gown with matching silver earrings and necklace. Her hair was up with a few curly tendrils loose and flowing to her shoulders.  
  
"Wow!" Lucky exclaimed and she smiled shyly.  
  
Emily yelled up the stairs, "Okay, Liz, we're all waiting!"  
  
I started my decent down the stairs and sent up a silent prayer that I would not trip over my own feet. I held the train of my dress up with one hand as I made my way down the stairs. When I got to the bottom of the stairs and worked up the nerve to look up at Nikolas, he was beaming.  
  
"You look beautiful." He said, simply.  
  
I looked down at my gown, a deep blue with small silver rhinestones and offered, "Oh, this old thing?"  
  
We all laughed and then he took my arm in his and led me out to the waiting limo.  
  
* * * The benefit was held in the ballroom of the Port Charles Hotel. It was decorated in red, which reminded me of Valentine's Day. Nikolas, as if he could sense I was uncomfortable, gave me a reassuring squeeze.  
  
All four of us sat at a table together that was directly beside the table where Stephan Cassidine and other patrons of General Hospital sat. He came over to say hello to Nikolas and looked at me briefly as if uninterested and went back to his seat. Nikolas excused himself from our table because he had to go behind the stage and wait to be announced. He was presenting a donation as well as introducing the host of the evening.  
  
"Are you going to be okay?" He asked, worried.  
  
"I'm fine." I said, despite the fact that it wasn't true. "Lucky and Em are here. Go, before you're late!"  
  
With all the people around I knew that no one would hurt me in the open. And yet I got the feeling that someone was watching me. My skin was quickly gooseflesh despite the warm temperature.  
  
"Are you feeling alright?" Emily asked, moments before the show was to begin.  
  
"I'm okay." I said, lying again.  
  
I turned to look around as if I could spot HIM in the crowd. That is when I noticed that Jason was there. He was sitting at a table with Sonny, a brunette, and a few men. One of the men I recognized as the bodyguard that stood outside Jason's penthouse. I wanted to get his attention some how but I noticed his eyes were drawn to the table where Emily's family sat.  
  
Amongst the Quatermaine's I had already met, like Monica, Alan, and A.J. was a blond woman I immediately recognized from Jason's apartment. And in her arms was the beautiful little boy that I knew had to be Michael. Jason's eyes were fixated on the little boy and I felt it was not my place to intrude.  
  
I turned back towards the stage just as Nikolas came on.  
  
"Greetings Ladies and Gentleman. Tonight is a very special night for many of us. In case you're a newcomer, this night is dedicated to those whom are no longer with us. To those brave souls that fought with everything they had against a disease that claims thousands a year. I would like for us all to take a moment of silence to remember those that could not be here tonight."  
  
The entire room was silent and still.  
  
"Thank you. Tonight is not only about loss, tonight is about life. The proceeds of this event go towards research that may someday save lives. So tonight we celebrate life. Within the walls of this hospital, the staff deals with life and death everyday and this evening is important to many here. On behalf of General Hospital, as a patron, I would like to donate this check for $100,000 to the fight for a cure."  
  
Everyone in the room clapped and applauded.  
  
"And now, it is time to celebrate life. And here is the liveliest person I know, Lucy Coe."  
  
* * *  
  
I watched the various skits throughout the night and yet my mind was elsewhere. My mind was with Jason whom sat still in his seat watching as Michael was passed around from Quatermaine to Quartermaine. I could almost see the longing in his eyes for just one moment with the little boy. I wanted so much to do something but I did not know what.  
  
Before the intermission of the show, a small brunette came up on stage and waited quietly for the attention of the room. And for the first time the entire evening, I saw Jason's eyes look towards the stage. But it was only momentary and then he was once again back to looking at Michael.  
  
I heard Emily and Nikolas mumble something about how they were surprised she showed up. And suddenly I knew who she was. This was Robin, the girl that had betrayed Jason to A.J., the reason that Michael was no longer with Jason.  
  
"My name is Robin Scorpio. I was diagnosed with HIV a few years ago. But that is not why I am here tonight. For someone in my condition, I am rather healthy. I am here to speak for those who are not as lucky as I am, for those whom are no longer with us. Many of us that are here tonight have been affected in someway by this deadly disease. But getting the diagnosis does not have to be a death-sentence. Tonight is about hope and living long and full lives. Thank you all for supporting this dream. Enjoy the rest of the show."  
  
All four of us got up to linger amongst the crowd and greet those around us. I purposefully got separated from the group and found my way to the side of the stage just as she was getting down.  
  
"Robin?" I called, getting her attention.  
  
She looked at me quizzically, "Yes?"  
  
"That was a beautiful speech. I'm sorry that hits so close to home."  
  
"Thank you. It's okay, I'm okay . . . did you have a question?"  
  
"I don't mean to be rude, and if this comes out that way, I'm sorry. I'm not usually one that walks up to a complete stranger . . . and I don't know why I chose now to start, but I need to tell you something and then I promise I will be out of your hair."  
  
She looked at me, confused.  
  
"There are some situations where honesty is not the best policy. Sometimes the truth can hurt those that you never wanted to hurt. And sometimes your motives for doing something may seem crystal clear but the outcome is disastrous."  
  
"I'm confused." She offered.  
  
I turned and pointed to Michael, "Do you realize all you've taken away from him?"  
  
"A.J. had the right to know that Michael was his son. Every parent has that right."  
  
"Should you be thinking of the well-being of the parent or the child?" I asked.  
  
"Who are you to pass judgement on the situation?"  
  
"Do you know how much Jason loves Michael? Did you bother to look in his eyes long enough to see the pain and heartache you inflicted? Did it even matter what you did to him? Nothing will ever take away that pain!"  
  
"A.J. deserved to know! And I loved Jason. Who are you to speak for him?"  
  
"I love him and it hurts me to see him in all this pain that I cannot take away."  
  
It took a moment to register what I had said and another moment before I could get my feet moving away from Robin. And of all the people I could have run into, I ran into Jason.  
  
I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know. But all I could see was Michael in his eyes and it made me wonder if there was room in his heart for me, or if it was still broken from Robin's final blow.  
  
All I could conjure out, "Can we get out of here?"  
  
* * *  
  
I looked around briefly for Emily, feeling as if I explained to her she would understand. However, I knew that if I left unexpectently, Nikolas would not take offense because he knew I was squeamish and would easily forgive me. I did not want to abuse his compassion, and I was in part frightened by the crowd of strangers, but my main reason for leaving was so I could talk to Jason.  
  
He put his hand on the small of my back and led me out.  
  
"I'm surprised you came." He offered.  
  
"Why?" I asked, even though I was sure of the answer.  
  
"You told me that you don't like malls because of the crowd and this is bigger."  
  
"That is one of the reasons I wanted to get away." I started.  
  
"What's the other?" He asked after a moment of silence.  
  
"I need to apologize to you."  
  
He looked at me confused, "For what?"  
  
"I spoke with Robin." I said, quickly, hoping it would be over with just as fast.  
  
"That's your choice." He said, after a moment of reflection.  
  
"I feel guilty about it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I saw you looking over at Michael the entire evening and saw how much pain was in your eyes. I wanted to do something, to erase that pain. . . You've done so much for me, helped me through some of the toughest times in my life. . ."  
  
"You don't owe me anything." He offered.  
  
"I do. I owe you everything. I walked over to Robin and blamed her, which I know was stupid and juvenile, but . . ."  
  
Jason pulled me close to him and held me in his arms, "I know why you did it. Don't be mad at yourself."  
  
With my head softly resting on his chest I barely spoke above a whisper, "But you don't . . ."  
  
He looked down at me, his eyes connecting with mine.  
  
" I love you. That's why."  
  
His expression was blank for a moment, startled, as if he had never heard those words before. Then his eyes became the familiar ones I knew, but something changed. There was a light within them I had not seen before, or had not noticed.  
  
He asked, "Do you know how I feel about you?"  
  
My lips were frozen shut.  
  
"Sonny gave me a family. Carly gave me friendship. Robin gave me faith. You give me all these things and so much more. . . . I don't have to think about business or Michael's custody battle when I'm with you because I feel safe with you. You're my home."  
  
I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't help from inching closer to him and taking in his scent, his touch, and his essence. He leaned down and kissed my head through my hair. I looked up into his eyes and was sure that there was room in his heart for me, because I was already there. 


	9. Take me home

The next day, at my grandmother's house, I was alone when a knock came at the door. I carelessly ran down, assuming it was Emily, Nikolas, Lucky, or all three, coming to pick me up. My heart skipped a beat at the thought that it might be Jason. But when I answered the door I forgot all about them.  
  
"Detective Taggart, come in." I said, moving out of his way.  
  
"Thank you." He said, stepping inside. "Is your grandmother home?"  
  
"No, she's at work. Is there something you need her for? I could call."  
  
"No, I came to see you." He said, gently.  
  
I sat down on the couch and he remained standing.  
  
"It is about your case." He said.  
  
I almost jumped out of my seat.  
  
"Due to lack of evidence and many dead ends, the case has been officially closed."  
  
I stopped breathing the second I heard his words. I could feel my body collapsing into itself as my heart raced.  
  
"Elizabeth . . . ?"  
  
I let out the air stuck within my lungs.  
  
"I'm sorry. Usually if a case is open this long and we don't have any leads . . ."  
  
"Can't I look at mug shots or something? This cannot just be the final word."  
  
"You can look at the mug shots anytime you want. But you've looked at them before."  
  
"So I'm just supposed to accept this? Oh, I got raped but since there was no evidence then he can just go free!"  
  
"I'm so sorry, Elizabeth."  
  
"Sorry is not enough."  
  
"It's all I can offer." He stated.  
  
The tears starting come down and they stung my eyes severely. If Taggart hadn't been there I might have just collapsed onto the floor and cried. But I tried to be strong so he wouldn't know, but I got the feeling he could see right through me.  
  
"Please, just go."  
  
"Do you need me to call someone? I could call Audrey." He offered.  
  
"No."  
  
The moment he left I picked up the phone. I dialed his number out of memory and waited.  
  
Ring. Ring.  
  
"Morgan."  
  
"Jas-"  
  
"Elizabeth. What's happened? What's wrong?" He asked, hastily.  
  
"Please, just come and get me."  
  
"I'm on my way."  
  
Click.  
  
He was there within ten minutes.  
  
He took me in his strong arms and just held me. He didn't ask because he knew I would tell him when the time was right. But now, I just needed those arms. Pressed against his chest I could hear his heartbeat.  
  
I dried my eyes and looked at him, "Taggart came by. They closed the case. Lack of evidence or leads or some shit like that." I stated, disgusted.  
  
"That doesn't mean that everyone has stopped looking." He stated.  
  
I looked up at him and for the first time realized what he had been doing.  
  
"All the times you went out you were looking?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
I could not believe what I just heard. He had been out searching for the man who did this to me. He cared enough to take care of me and look for the man who did this. No one had ever cared about me this much. No one had ever even come close.  
  
"Please, take me home." I asked.  
  
And he did.  
  
* * *  
  
My sister Sarah said nothing when I moved out. My grandmother was very livid with her view but I left anyway.  
  
It felt just like before when I lived with Jason, but so much better. He wasn't there as a friend to lean on, he was more than that. We weren't technically an item, but we had an understanding amongst eachother that we were more than friends.  
  
Sonny forgave me for my *moment of insanity* and soon the three of us had dinner often. I became comfortable with him around and knew that Jason was right, that he could be trusted.  
  
One night when Jason was away, I went across the hall and he welcomed me in with a smile.  
  
"Are you worried about Jason?" He asked.  
  
"Yes, I'm always worried. But so far he's always come back."  
  
"And he will tonight." He said, holding up a glass to offer me a drink.  
  
"No thank you." I said, having stayed away from it since my wild days before Port Charles.  
  
I sat down on his couch and he joined me.  
  
"If you know that, then why are you here?" He asked, concerned.  
  
"Do you know where Jason is going? What he's doing?"  
  
"No, he hasn't told me. Why?"  
  
"He's trying to find someone for me."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Someone who hurt me. I'm just afraid that if he does find him that he'll do something that he'll regret."  
  
"Sweetheart, what do you mean?"  
  
"Before I came to live with Jason, I was attacked."  
  
"Attacked?"  
  
"Raped." I said, silencing him for a while.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said, backing away from me as if it might make me uncomfortable.  
  
"You don't have to do that, I'm not going to break." I offered.  
  
He stepped closer but still remained at a distance.  
  
"But Jason is out looking for him. He's so invested in finding him that I'm afraid that if he does then . . ."  
  
"You'll have to say goodbye to Jason for a while?" Sonny stated, completing my thought.  
  
"Have you told him this?" He asked.  
  
"No." I stated, feeling ashamed.  
  
"Tell him, sweetheart. He'll listen." He said, knowingly.  
  
* * * I didn't see Jason the rest of the night. I went upstairs to go to sleep when the phone began to ring.  
  
Jason rarely called when he was out. He had done it more frequently when I had just begun to stay with him, but now he hardly called. I was surprised and rushed down the stairs. But it wasn't Jason.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Liz?"  
  
I had to remind myself to breathe, "Steve?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I cannot believe that it's you. God, it's been . . ."  
  
"Too long. I heard from Sarah all the sordid details. So, what's the truth? Are you really staying with a mob hit man?"  
  
I did not know how to respond. It was my brother, and I never lied to my brother. But Jason's job was his business, not mine to discuss.  
  
"You know Sarah . . ." I started, changing the subject, but feeling horrible knowing that I was keeping anything from my brother.  
  
"Yeah. I'm in New York at the moment and I was thinking that I might visit my favorite little sister when I stop in Port Charles tomorrow. I actually have some free time and might stay for awhile."  
  
"STEVE!"  
  
"I need an address to meet you."  
  
I really wanted Steven and Jason to meet. But I wasn't sure how either would react to eachother. But they both are so much a part of my life that I want them to know of eachother.  
  
"Could you meet me in the lobby of Harborview Towers?"  
  
"Is that where you're . . . Sarah was being honest?"  
  
"I'll see you there at noon." I said, avoiding the subject, and quickly hung up the phone.  
  
* * * The next morning passed as it usually did. But before noon, around the time I normally started lunch or we would head out to eat out, I excused myself from the room and exited the penthouse. I took the elevator down to the lobby and waited eagerly. It had been years and I was eager to see my older brother.  
  
At the same time I felt guilty for keeping a secret from Jason. I was afraid how he would react. But I quickly forgot this when I saw my older brother arrive.  
  
He stepped in through the doors, characteristically early. I smiled, a feeling surging through my body that although so much had happened, I could still depend on the little things to remain the same.  
  
He started looking around and he let his eyes pass over me once before letting them rest on me.  
  
"Elizabeth?" He questioned.  
  
I walked over, "Who else?"  
  
He hugged me and then gave me the once over.  
  
"Wow! Last time I saw you, you were my baby sister. Now, you're a woman."  
  
I blushed and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I guided him towards the elevator and as the doors opened I was not at all shocked to see Jason waiting.  
  
I realized that he would notice me missing and frantically go searching, but I didn't realize it would happen as soon as it did. He barely stepped out of the elevator and just let our eyes meet. For a moment, I thought I almost saw jealously.  
  
Steven noticed the look as well, "This must be the boyfriend."  
  
He offered out his hand to shake but Jason remained stolid and I blushed dark red.  
  
"He's just a friend." I explained as he finally put out his hand.  
  
Steven looked as though he stumbled upon a secret that I was not yet privy to, and smiled. He and I stepped into the elevator and joined Jason.  
  
"So . . . what do you do for a living?" Steve asked immediately.  
  
I hit him playfully in the side but he did not withdrawal the question.  
  
"Coffee." Jason answered.  
  
"Coffee?" Steve asked, confused.  
  
"He has a coffee warehouse." I informed him.  
  
"Oh. Your business must be really lucrative to live in a place like this."  
  
Jason said nothing and I could not get his eyes to meet mine.  
  
When the elevator stopped at the penthouse floor, we all stepped out.  
  
"How 'bout we go out to lunch?" I offered, to break the tense silence.  
  
"Sure." Steve agreed.  
  
"You two catch up." Jason offered and then went inside.  
  
I told Steve to wait and followed Jason inside.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know you don't like surprises. I just really wanted you two to meet eachother. He called yesterday while you were out and I was afraid that if I said something you would act like this."  
  
He turned, "Don't apologize. He's your brother; you have the right to invite him over. Go, spend some time with him."  
  
"But I wanted you two to get to know eachother. You're both such huge parts of my life that I hoped . . ." She paused.  
  
I could tell that Jason did not want to let me down. He wanted to come along but something was holding him back. I didn't want to push him so I dropped the subject.  
  
"I'll be back soon." I offered.  
  
"Take your time."  
  
I smiled and hesitantly shut the door.  
  
"Ready?" Steve asked, looking concerned.  
  
I smiled and let him lead me to the elevator. We rode down in silence, just the feeling of having him there made me feel as if every burden was lifted from my shoulders.  
  
Of all places, he wanted to eat at Kelly's.  
  
He noticed the difference the second we walked in.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked as I sat down at the corner table.  
  
I wanted to tell him because I felt as if he deserved to know because I use to tell him everything. He use to be my confidant. But recently, Jason had been that person for me . . . and so much more. But I felt as if I told Steve then I would be betraying Jason in some way.  
  
I knew that if Jason was there he would tell me that I was being silly. Except he wouldn't say it outright, he would just tell me to do what I wanted and not be concerned with what everyone else thought. But I was still hesitant.  
  
Emily, whom was coerced by Bobbie to fill in for one of her absent waitresses, came over with a mixture of curiosity and surprise on her face.  
  
"Liz . . . Hey!" She greeted me, and then turned towards Steve.  
  
"Are you going to introduce us?" He asked after a minute of awkward silence.  
  
"Oh . . . yeah . . . Emily this is my brother Steve, Steve this is . . ." I paused, unsure if I should introduce her as my friend or as Jason's sister.  
  
Emily looked at me as if I had forgotten her name.  
  
"Emily Quatermaine." I finished, simply, so I didn't have to make a decision.  
  
They shook hands but Emily could tell that it wasn't the best time. She took our orders and avoided the small talk that Steve attempted to start.  
  
"So, how'd you meet her? You a regular here?" He asked, nonchalantly.  
  
"Mutual friend." I said, simply, not wanting him to bring up Jason.  
  
But, as if he sensed it, he did.  
  
"So, tell me all the sordid details of your love life." He inquired.  
  
"I haven't got one." I answered.  
  
"You haven't had one date since you got here months ago?" He asked, curious.  
  
I couldn't lie to my brother. I had to tell him everything. And it had all started when I set up that date with Lucky Spencer.  
  
"A few days after I moved here I had a date with a guy. It wasn't anything serious, but it never happened."  
  
"What do you mean? Did he not show? Did you ditch him? Why so tight- lipped?" He asked.  
  
"He showed only to tell me he couldn't stay. A friend of his had been ditched by their significant other and he wanted to comfort them. He was sorry, and I could see that, and we agreed we'd try it again."  
  
"Doesn't sound all that bad of a guy, why didn't you two hook up?"  
  
"The friend that had been ditched was Sarah."  
  
"Oh . . ." He said, understandingly, knowing how it had always been between Sarah and me.  
  
Emily interrupted us briefly to deliver our food and was off just as quickly as she had come. I made a mental note to explain and apologize later.  
  
"What's with her?" Steve remarked, "She reminds me of Jason."  
  
His comment seemed ironic to me and I cracked a slight smile. He looked at me confused as to how it was funny.  
  
I explained, "Jason is her brother."  
  
He thought for a moment, "Ahh . . . the mutual friend, I should have guessed."  
  
"So, you met Jason before Emily?" He asked, trying to slyly lead into a conversation about my relationship with Jason.  
  
"Something like that . . ." I offered, feeling the pressure of telling him what had happened creeping up on me.  
  
He caught on, "What's wrong? Any mention of Jason and your love life and you are tight-lipped. You've never acted this way with me before, what's going on? Has he tried anything . . ." He started, and I knew exactly what he meant.  
  
"NO! It's not like that." I started, "He . . . he saved me."  
  
I closed my lips tight, knowing that I had begun the process of telling him. I knew how he would react.  
  
**Flashback**  
  
Elizabeth casually held the phone between her cheek and shoulder blade as she painted her nails on her left hand. In the midst of conversation she looked across the room at the mirror and scowled at her hair. She wondered what she could do with it and cursed herself for getting it cut short.  
  
"So, do you know what you're going to wear yet?" Her friend Jill asked on the other end of the line.  
  
"I was thinking my dark red shirt and that skirt I just got, the black one?"  
  
"You are so lucky! Court is SO cute! I cannot believe he invited you to Brad's party!"  
  
Elizabeth looked at the clock, "I have to go. I'll call you tonight when I get back."  
  
She got dressed, managed to do something decent with her hair, and quickly corrected the two nails she had smudged in the process.  
  
That same night, while at the party, she had not even second-guessed taking a drink from Court. When Court, the most popular guy in school offered you anything, you took it.  
  
He carelessly had his arm around her shoulder and it was the most exhilarating and exciting experience of her teenage years. She smiled at him and he looked at her adoringly. He leaned in between sips and kissed her quickly. She couldn't help but smile.  
  
She thought nothing of it when Court handed her another drink and another drink. But she began to feel the affects yet did not want to say anything and ruin her date.  
  
She remembers him taking her hand and guiding her out of the main room and towards the bedroom. She remembers running into the door, giggling, and spilling her drink. He laughs with her and tells her to ignore the mess. He guides her towards the bed.  
  
She falls back on it and he sits down beside her. He leans down next to her and looks at her adoringly.  
  
Luckily for her, her friend Jill saw her go out of the room. Jill went to Steve, her date, and told him that she was worried about Elizabeth. Steve went into full protective-older-brother-mode and got there in time to save Elizabeth from something she would have regretted.  
  
She remembers Steve pulling her out of the room and Court looking at her upset. It was obvious to Steve that Court was the type of guy who pulled that type of trick often and could tell by the smirk on his face that Elizabeth had been the only one to get away 'without any harm done'.  
  
When Elizabeth was clear headed the next morning, Steve did not tell her the truth. He created a lie but it was to protect Elizabeth from the truth of what had almost taken place.  
  
But months later he told her, having had the lie eat away at his insides. It was the hardest thing that he ever had to do. And when it was over, Elizabeth loved her brother more than she ever thought possible.  
  
**End of Flashback**  
  
I considered telling a lie of my own, concealing the truth so he might not attempt to rectify the situation in some way. But I hate liars and I never want to become one, especially to my own brother. My loving older brother that had lied to me once, and only once, and had apologized profusely afterwards.  
  
"What happened, Liz?" He asked, and I could hear the pain in his voice.  
  
I knew that he was angry for being kept out of the loop. But I knew, more than anything, that he was feeling guilty for leaving. I didn't want to make him feel worse and let him know that there was yet another man that had tried to take advantage and he was not there to be my savior.  
  
"Do you remember what happened with Court Neylson?" I asked, timidly.  
  
I knew that he had never forgotten. And in his eyes, at the mention of Court's name, I could see the same eyes I saw the day he told me what had truly happened that night. The eyes of a boy that had been sheltered most of his life that had finally had the blinders lifted.  
  
"On Valentine's Day, when my date with Lucky got 'postponed', I ran to the park upset and ran into some trouble . . ." I said, my eyes shying away from his.  
  
" . . . a man grabbed me from the bushes . . ." I started, not noticing that my eyes were wet.  
  
"Lizzie!" He said, upset to learn the truth, and pushed his chair closer and surrounded me in those arms I was so use to.  
  
"It's not your fault." I whispered, to stop him from blaming himself, which I knew he was doing.  
  
"If I had been here . . ." He started.  
  
I pushed out of his embrace, "I would have been grateful to have to here, but I'm not sure that would have been the best thing. I needed to lean on someone who didn't know me. I wouldn't want you to see me like that . . . again . . ."  
  
A vile moan escaped his lips at the injustice of it all.  
  
"I owe Jason an apology." He said, remembering from earlier that I had called him my 'savior' and now he knew why.  
  
* * *  
  
Jason was there when I got home. The minute I stepped into the penthouse, Jason could tell that something was amiss.  
  
"What's wrong?" Jason asked, instantly.  
  
"Nothing." I said, not in the mood to share after my encounter with my brother.  
  
"Where's your brother?" He asked, curious.  
  
"Back at his hotel. He needed some time after what I told him. . . He wanted you to know that he was sorry about before."  
  
"You told him what happened?" He asked, surprised.  
  
"Everything. He feels guilty that he wasn't there."  
  
Jason was starting to see that Steve was not as bad as he had originally thought. No matter his opinion of the other man in Elizabeth's life, he knew that Steve cared about her and that was all that mattered.  
  
He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around me.  
  
I said nothing and just let him hold me. It made me happy to know that such a bad situation had given me something that I would never have otherwise, my relationship with Jason.  
  
"You've been thinking about HIM. Haven't you?" He offered to end the silence.  
  
He knows me too well.  
  
"It's just that . . . I feel like I failed myself that night. If I remembered more than I might have been able to help the police catch him."  
  
"Elizabeth, you tried to block it out. Why bring this up again if all it does is make you upset?"  
  
"I just . . . If I had done something that night he would be off the street and he's still there. He could be hurting someone else and they might not have someone in their life to take care of them like I did."  
  
He softly pushed a stray strand of my hair behind my ear and let his hand wonder on my cheek a little too long.  
  
"I failed you that night." He offered, taking me back by surprised.  
  
I flinched at his touch and he backed away, "Jason, you saved me!"  
  
"If I had gotten there a little earlier . . ." He started, and I could see that he meant it. He felt responsible.  
  
"Jason, we had barely met months before. Accidentally running into someone doesn't make you responsible for them. It's my fault I was there and no one else's."  
  
"That was not your fault." He said immediately.  
  
"If I had gone anywhere else . . ." I started, he interrupted, "Then we might not know eachother."  
  
I looked up in his eyes and realized what I had gained and knew he was right. I had to stop over-analyzing the situation. IF questions lead nowhere and don't solve anything. I had to learn to move on.  
  
He was silent for a moment, "If this is bothering you this much, there is something that might help you remember."  
  
"What?" I asked, eager for answers.  
  
"After my accident, they tried hypnotism to see if it could trigger any memories. The doctor said that in most cases where amnesia was involved, hypnotism is not the most effective. But it might be the right thing for you, if you really want to remember."  
  
"I'd rather just forget, but I can't. I can't until I know that he is off the streets and cannot hurt anyone else. Before I wanted him caught out of vengeance, but now I just want justice."  
  
"Do you want me to schedule the appointment?" He asked.  
  
"Yes." 


	10. Lost Causes

The appointment was set for the very next day. In a way I was excited and hopeful that I would remember more information that could possibly lead to an arrest. But I was scared because for so long I had tried to block out what happened and the hypnotism will force me to face it head on.  
  
Jason could tell by the look in my eyes that I was unsure.  
  
"If you don't want to do this, it's fine. You don't have to."  
  
"I need to." I said, sure of that but not sure if I would be able.  
  
"If you want, I can come in with you."  
  
I considered it, "One condition, and this is not negotiable. . . I don't want you to stop me if I get upset. I need to do this for myself, and for the next girl, because if I don't then I'm going to always wonder and blame myself."  
  
"If that's what you want." He said.  
  
We got off the elevator and slowly walked towards the nurse's station. Jason had his arm wrapped around me and it fit so perfectly that I wondered where it had been all my life.  
  
A nurse looked up when we approached, "May I help you?"  
  
"I'm here to see Doctor Jamiste. I'm Elizabeth Webber."  
  
"I'll call the doctor to let her know that you're here. Please have a seat in the waiting area."  
  
We walked over and sat down on the uncomfortable couches.  
  
"Jason, please tell me this is the right thing to do." I instructed.  
  
"It's the right thing to do." He repeated, with a slight smile.  
  
"Seriously. Am I crazy to think that I will remember something I haven't before? I mean, I was there and conscious. How could I forget something important?"  
  
He took hold of my hand, "You're not crazy, Elizabeth. But if you don't want to do this then we can just walk away."  
  
"Ms. Webber? Dr. Jamiste is ready for you." The nurse interrupted.  
  
"I need to." I answered and got up.  
  
When we got to the room there was a chair for the doctor and a long couch.  
  
"Hello Elizabeth." The doctor greeted me, shaking my hand.  
  
"Hello." I said, nervously fidgeting.  
  
"Please, have a seat." The doctor instructed.  
  
I sat down on the long couch and Jason sat beside me. The doctor sat down across from us and began the speal:  
  
"I need you to relax. Close your eyes and try to relax. Clear your head and just focus. I'm going to count back from ten and when I reach zero you will be in a constant state of relaxation. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One."  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
I take hold of Jason's hand.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Now, Elizabeth, I need you to imagine someplace you feel safe. Have you got your place?"  
  
Jason's penthouse came to mind," Yes."  
  
"Okay. Before we proceed, if at anytime you are uncomfortable then I want you to go back to this place. Okay?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"If at any time the pain is too intense, or you feel as if you cannot go on, turn it down. We control this session and you control your emotions. If it becomes too intense, distance yourself. Imagine there are little knobs that you can use to tune out that which you don't want to feel."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay. I want you to think back to Valentine's Day. Tell me when you're there."  
  
"I'm back."  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"Kelly's."  
  
"Why are you there?"  
  
"I'm waiting for Lucky, we have a date and we agreed to meet here."  
  
"Is he there with you?"  
  
"No. He's late."  
  
"How does that make you feel?"  
  
"I think nothing of it, really. I just hope that nothing has happened to him."  
  
"What happens when Lucky does come?"  
  
"He tells me that his friend just had a fight with their significant other and he felt obligated to go cheer them up. He's apologizing for ditching me."  
  
"How do you feel about your date being canceled?"  
  
"I didn't mind really. I thought his friend needed him more then I did. But then he lets it slip that it's Sarah."  
  
"What do you do?"  
  
"I get defensive and run before I can start to say what I really think of the situation. I knew that I'd just regret it later, so I ran."  
  
"Where did you go?"  
  
"The park."  
  
"Why there?"  
  
"When my sister, my brother, and I would visit my grandmother here, she would always set aside a day to have a picnic in the park."  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Unwanted. Everyone always picks Sarah over me."  
  
"What is happening around you?"  
  
"Nothing. It's silent. Except for this twig . . . GET THE HELL OFF OF ME! GET OFF! HELP! PLEASE, SOMEONE HEAR ME!"  
  
I squeeze Jason's hand.  
  
He wants to help me. He wants to wake me up so I have no memory of that night. But he knows that it was my choice to come here. So he waits, despite what my screams are doing to his insides.  
  
"Elizabeth, turn the pain down. Focus. You are in control."  
  
" . . . he's got his hand over my mouth. I keep trying to scream but no one can hear. He's on top of me . . ." I start, then I begin to cry, "He's hurting me."  
  
"Elizabeth, you can always go back to your safe place."  
  
I continue crying and do not respond to the doctor. Jason watches in horror at my facial expressions. I grab at his hand harder and he tries harder to contain his worry for me and his inner rage at my attacker.  
  
"Elizabeth. Try to look at him. Ignore what he is doing and look at him. Tell me about him."  
  
"My eyes are closed. I don't want to see him. I don't want to . . ."  
  
"Elizabeth, open your eyes."  
  
**"DON'T SAY A WORD."**  
  
"Elizabeth, you are in control. Not him. Open your eyes. Look."  
  
"There's brown."  
  
"Brown what?"  
  
"Eyes. His eyes are brown. They're cold. His hair is the same color. It's sticking out of his cap."  
  
"What's happening?"  
  
"It's cold. My skin feels like ice against the snow. He won't stop. He's still hurting me."  
  
"You are in control. Turn down the pain."  
  
I start to cry again. And suddenly I see in my mind a flash. I'm not sure of what-just a flash of light and then it's gone.  
  
"He's done. He's leaving me there. I can feel the blood on my body but . . ."  
  
"What, but what?"  
  
"I don't care about it. I just don't want to be here anymore."  
  
"In the park?"  
  
"I want to be dead. . . he's coming back."  
  
"What do you . . ."  
  
I cut her off, " It's not him. It's . . . I've seen him. He's calling for help. He's telling me it's going to be okay. He cares . . ."  
  
"What happens next?"  
  
"He lends me his hand, and I know, I don't know how, but I know, I can trust him. I'm safe with him."  
  
"Okay, Elizabeth. I am going to count back from ten. When I am finished, you will be back in the present. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One."  
  
I opened my eyes with a start and instantly turned towards Jason. My eyes met his crystal blue eyes. For a moment it was as if he had saved me all over again and I suddenly realized the true impact of what he had done for me.  
  
"Do you remember everything?" The doctor asked.  
  
I hesitantly turned away from his gaze and towards the doctor, "I remember."  
  
The spicy smell of HIS soap entered my nostrils and I felt as if she might gag. I held Jason's hand tighter as we left the room.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I remember something . . . his soap . . . the smell of it."  
  
We both knew, even though neither of us would dare say it aloud, that the smell of soap was not going to help the police attribute the crime to the guilty party. But I had remembered his eyes and the color of his hair. Perhaps if I look at the mug shots one more time I might make a connection.  
  
"Are you okay?" He asked, characteristically Jason.  
  
"No, I'm not. I don't think I am going to be until that creep is off the streets." I offered.  
  
"Do you want to head down to the police station?" He asked, and I knew the sacrifice he was making for me. I knew that he didn't have the 'best' relationship with the police.  
  
"You don't have to come." I offered, giving him an easy out.  
  
But just as I knew he would, he answered, "I want to."  
  
He wrapped an arm gingerly around my waist and guided towards the hospital elevators. We ignored the stares and the snickers and just revealed in the fact that we had eachother and that was all we needed.  
  
* * * My hopes dwindled when we left the police station. None of the pictures sparked anything within me.  
  
Jason tried to get my hopes up, "How about we go out to dinner tonight?"  
  
I looked at him amazed, "GO OUT to eat dinner?"  
  
"Yeah . . ." He started, looking at me questionably, "What is it?"  
  
"I just didn't think that you were the going out to dinner type." I offered.  
  
"If it will make you happy and forget about everything for one evening, then I'm willing to give it a try."  
  
I knew immediately what to say, without even having to think it through first.  
  
"Jason, I'd like to think I know you rather well. One thing that I am sure of is that you would do anything for me, and I appreciate that. But I don't want you to feel as if you HAVE to go out of your way to do something that you don't want to."  
  
He smiled, "Maybe making you happy for one evening is not something I have to do, but something I want to do."  
  
I blushed, "Jason . . ."  
  
"Let me give you this one nice evening." He offered.  
  
But I had a better idea, "I know something that would make me happy . . ."  
  
* * * I had only been on his motorcycle once or twice before. But for some reason I was drawn to it. So that was my wish for that evening, and being Jason, he could do nothing but oblige.  
  
From the back of the motorcycle, everything was different. The colors, the light, the dark, all blurred past as the wind rushed over us. And having my arms around Jason and knowing that he would do anything and everything to protect me made me feel invincible.  
  
On the back of his motorcycle I let the wind wash over me and it felt as if it cleansed my soul. I would forget about my worries and my troubles and just hold on. I let the wind carry my worries away and we went so fast that they never caught up unless we came to a stop.  
  
If only I could live my whole life from the back of Jason's motorcycle. But, unfortunately, you eventually run out of gas. 


	11. Not So Funny Valentine

Two days later, while Jason was out doing something 'business' related, and Emily, Lucky, and Nikolas, were busy, it happened. Johnny dropped off the mail per usual; I left it on the coffee table because nothing was ever for me. I had a brief conversation with my brother on the phone and we agreed to meet later for lunch.  
  
I carelessly ran into the corner of the coffee table, spilling my drink all over the mail. I hastily tried to brush off the liquid to no avail. But in the process I saw that one letter was addressed to me.  
  
I forgot all about my spill and the other mail lying haphazardly around the coffee table. The moment I picked up the letter I knew it was bad news. My stomach had butterflies, my head started to pound, and I felt as if I might have to run for a wastebasket quickly.  
  
I wanted to wait until Jason got back to open the note. Or maybe I could wait until lunch with Steve. But I was never one to be patient, and I slowly opened the envelope. I pulled out the card and gasped at the sight of it, a large red valentine heart. I had to remind myself to breathe before opening it up.  
  
"Dearest Elizabeth,  
  
I finally know your name. Now that I have found you, it is only a matter of time until we will reunite.  
  
With Love,  
  
Your Happy Valentine"  
  
A knock on the door startled me and I dropped the card on the floor.  
  
"Ms. Webber, Mr. Cassidine is here to see you."  
  
I have no recollection of moving but I found myself in front of the door staring into the brown eyes of Nikolas Cassidine. The second he saw me his normally friendly face began to show signs of worry and concern.  
  
"Elizabeth, what's happened?" He asked as he closed the door behind him.  
  
"HE knows who I am. HE knows where I am."  
  
"What?" He asked, unsure.  
  
His eyes somehow found the letter. He picked it up and read it, fuming with hatred for the man whom had written it.  
  
"You're not safe here. Come with me, I'll take you to Spoon Island." He offered.  
  
"I'm safe here as long as I'm inside. Johnnie is at the door and he'll protect me. Sonny and Marco are across the hall. I'll be fine as long as I am here. This is my safe place." I answered as though I was in the hypnotic trance.  
  
"Okay, if you want to stay, fine. But I'm not leaving you here alone."  
  
We sat down on the couch together and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.  
  
"You're shivering." He said simply, and pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around me.  
  
His jacket had a masculine smell, not unlike Jason's leather jacket (which he constantly lets me borrow), but it wasn't the same smell. However, it was slightly comforting.  
  
I started to ramble, "It must've been at Kelly's . . . I'm there all the time with Jason and you and Em and Lucky and . . . he must've seen me there . . . or the mall . . . I'm at the mall with Em a lot . . ."  
  
He pulled me closer as if to reassure me but it didn't help. I tried to close my eyes and pretend that it was Jason there instead but all I saw was HIM and so I kept my eyes open.  
  
"Want me to call Lucky or Emily?" He offered, "Or Jason?"  
  
I knew that he was worried when he offered to call Jason. I knew how much he hated Jason but that was outweighed by how much he cared for me. I considered letting him call but I knew that he might take it the wrong way, feel as if he could not measure up, and I did not want him to feel that way.  
  
"No, if you stay I'll be fine here with you." I offered, and he relaxed next to me.  
  
But I could not fully relax. I just let him hold me, knowing that he would protect me with everything within him.  
  
I almost jumped when his cell phone purred in his pocket. He shot me a guilty and apologetic glance as he got out the phone to turn it off.  
  
"Don't!" I said, hastily.  
  
"Don't what?" He asked, cautiously.  
  
"Don't miss your call, it could be important. Take it."  
  
He looked unsure.  
  
"Please, just take it." I pleaded.  
  
He answered the phone, "Nikolas Cassidine."  
  
He was silent for a moment and then, "Sarah . . . wait a second . . . calm down, what's wrong?"  
  
My interest piqued for only a moment and then I began to feel as though I was a kid again, in competition with my sister. Only this time the stakes were higher. Would the gallant ex-boyfriend run to the rescue of the tall blond or would he stay around to comfort the brunette?  
  
His eyes darted towards mine and then looked away, "Yeah, I'll tell her. It's gonna be okay. She'll be fine."  
  
He turned off his phone and I looked at him with curiosity, and briefly forgot my own situation. I could tell that something was severely wrong.  
  
"Audrey is at the hospital, she was mugged on the docks." He said, bluntly, knowing that I did not like anything sugar-coated.  
  
"Oh my God." I said, and got up and started towards the door.  
  
He said nothing, knowingly, and just followed.  
  
* * * Audrey had been hit from behind on the back of her head. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but the doctors gave her medication to ease the pain and help her sleep. When Elizabeth and Nikolas arrived, Bobbie led them to her room.  
  
Sarah was nowhere around and that worried Nikolas. Why did she call and then take off? It was unlike her. But his thoughts drifted back to Elizabeth, whom now sat beside Audrey in her room. Nikolas could tell the Elizabeth felt guilty that she had 'abandoned' Audrey when she had left to live with Jason. Things between the two women were not in the best condition. He could feel that she felt guilty, as if in some way she could possibly be responsible.  
  
Nikolas sat in the waiting area, feeling like an intruder, but had a gut feeling that if he left then something might happen to Elizabeth. He prayed his gut was wrong. 


	12. Missing Lunch Date

When Jason got back to the penthouse, he was not at all surprised to find Elizabeth was not there. He assumed that she went out with Emily, Nikolas, or perhaps her brother. He found it odd that she had not left a note, which she always did, but just assumed he would stumble upon it eventually. He opened the fridge searching for something to satisfy his hunger.  
  
Months before, if he had opened his refrigerator, he would have found a six- pack of beer and some frozen leftovers from take-out that he had forgotten about. But now his refrigerator was fully stocked, organized, and none of the food was out of date. And this felt normal to him, which was a miracle in some ways. It was hard to get use to change but he did not even seem to remember the process.  
  
He remembered back in the old days when he might have a meal here or there, if he remembered at all. But with Elizabeth around, he looked forward to meals. Especially the lunches she made some days when he would come home from taking care of some business for Sonny. She would stumble out of the kitchen looking frazzled but determined. She would have the table set with her new invention and he would hesitate ever so slightly before tasting it. He would force it down and give a slight smile as if he approved.  
  
She would always sigh," What's wrong with it this time?"  
  
She could read him like an open book, just as he could read her.  
  
He would say nothing and she would look at him, her eyes tiny slits, and hit him playfully with the oven mitt. She would then take the mitt off and sample her own work. He loved to watch the disgusted look on her face. He would immediately help her throw it away as she gave him a threatening look. He had said, "I told you so.", only once and never again did he repeat it. She knew what he was thinking.  
  
Recently, however, she would have a plate of brownies ready in case of the need for some food. They would have brownies, her only acceptable dish, and somehow Elizabeth would get chocolate all over everything, including herself. And he would, as he always did, help her get it off. His favorite memory of this was when she got it smeared on the tip of her nose and he took it off with a single kiss. They had laughed, and ate some more, and then had their "dessert".  
  
They never much more than kiss. Jason would always remember and back away for fear that she might feel uncomfortable. Elizabeth would tell him that it was okay and they would continue. But then something always happened, one or the other would pull away, and that would be the end of it. They never discussed it.  
  
The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts, and he shut the fridge and ran towards the phone.  
  
"Morgan." He answered, simply.  
  
After a slight pause, he answered timidly "This is Steve . . . is Elizabeth there?"  
  
"No, she not." Jason answered, suddenly getting worried.  
  
"Oh, it's just that she was going to meet me for lunch. We talked today on the phone around 11:00 and decided we would meet at Kelly's for lunch at noon. Have you heard from her, I'm starting to get worried? It's not like Lizzie to be late . . ." Steve started but Jason stopped listening when he saw what time it was, 12:45.  
  
Elizabeth was never late. She hated being late. She always left early and always called if she would be late. Jason knew that there had to be something wrong.  
  
"So the last time you talked to her was 11:00?" Jason asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'll find her." He said into the phone and put it back in the cradle.  
  
He forgot all about lunch and was out the door.  
  
* * *  
  
Nikolas was not at all surprised to see Jason Morgan. He hurriedly came out of the elevator and went straight towards the nurse's station.  
  
"Is Elizabeth Webber here?" He asked.  
  
Bobbie, hearing while passing by, answered, "She's in room 236."  
  
He started rushing towards the room when Nikolas made it a point to get in his way.  
  
"It's Audrey." He said, knowing what might be going through Jason's mind.  
  
When Jason said nothing, he explained, "Audrey got mugged. Elizabeth is only visiting. She wants to be alone."  
  
Nikolas could see a look of relief in Jason's eyes. They both walked over and sat down on the couch in the waiting room.  
  
"How'd you figure she was here?" Nikolas asked, intrigued.  
  
"Her brother called and said she had not made it to lunch."  
  
"But why here?" Nikolas asked.  
  
"I just had a feeling . . ." Jason said, as his eyes wandered down the hallway towards the room where she was.  
  
Despite the fact that they were separated, he could feel her pain. He could feel her guilt and sadness. But there was something else that she was feeling, something he could hardly determine. And then, all the sudden, it hit him; she was scared. He knew that it had to be something more than just Audrey's condition that made her so frightened, but what?  
  
"I'll call Steve and let him know so he doesn't worry." Nikolas offered before getting up and walking towards the pay phone.  
  
Jason watched him go and as soon as he was out of sight, he bolted towards room 236. He looked inside the window and saw Audrey laying down in her bed. She looked older than the last time Jason had seen her. But he did not see Elizabeth in the room.  
  
He opened the door slightly, not meaning to intrude, but just to check to see if Elizabeth was there. Audrey stirred and then opened her eyes.  
  
He didn't even have to ask. Audrey knew and answered him, "I convinced the poor girl to go the cafeteria. Hadn't had any lunch."  
  
Jason sent an apologetic glance in her direction and started to leave but Audrey stopped him.  
  
"Mr. Morgan?" She called.  
  
He turned.  
  
"I think I'm finally beginning to understand you." She said, simply.  
  
He looked at her quizzically.  
  
"I was here the night they brought you in. The anguish on the faces of those whom loved you. I know you mustn't remember, but we had shared a few conversations once. You were always a nice young man . . . that's the kind of man I wanted for Lizzie and Sarah."  
  
Jason let out a sigh, having an idea of what she might say next.  
  
"Why did you run away from a family that loves you so much?"  
  
"I could not be who they wanted me to be." He offered, stolidly.  
  
"Is that why Lizzie ran?" She asked.  
  
"Only she could answer that, Ms. Hardy."  
  
Jason turned to leave but Audrey called out to him again, "I see that you care about her, Mr. Morgan, but I don't want her near "your kind" of life. I don't want to come here for my shift one night and find her here."  
  
"My business will never touch Elizabeth." He said, then turned and left.  
  
Nikolas and Jason almost collide.  
  
"Elizabeth doesn't need a chaperone." Nikolas quipped.  
  
"She's not in there." Jason said, ignoring the snide remark.  
  
"What?" He asked, spooked.  
  
"Audrey said she went to the cafeteria to get something to eat." Jason said, a bad feeling rising up in the pit of his stomach.  
  
He could tell that Nikolas was having the same gut reaction. Nikolas pulls out the note and explains, "Elizabeth found this earlier."  
  
Jason looked at the cutout heart and instantly his heart fell. He opened it up and read the inscription and knew they were too late. He did not want to feel that way, he wanted to have hope that everything was fine. He wanted so hard to believe that she was carelessly eating in the cafeteria and would come back any moment, unaware of what he thought. But he knew, in his gut, that they would not find her in the hospital.  
  
* * * I didn't want to go the cafeteria. I had wanted to stay by my grandmother's side and help her through her pain. I kinda feel -almost- obligated to do so. But she insisted that I would help her by keeping myself healthy, so I agreed.  
  
When I reached the cafeteria, it was in the midst of the afternoon lunch rush. I lazily walked towards the long line having wished my last day of high school that I may never have to wait in such a line again. But apparently my prayers had gone unanswered.  
  
A chill ran down my spine and suddenly a crazy thought came to mind: What if my rapist is Audrey's mugger? If HE knew who I was it would be easy enough for him to find out whom I was related to. Once he knew that he could have gone after them so that I would be forced to come to the hospital. And since the hospital was so large there were many places to hide, and watch, and wait . . .  
  
I started nervously looking around as if I might spot him in the large mass of people around me.  
  
"Excuse me?" A man nearby asked.  
  
I turned, "Yes?"  
  
On further inspection he was dressed in the typical green scrub uniform and accompanying matching cap. A stethoscope was draped haphazardly around his neck. A surgical mask lay tied around his neck but hung like a necklace.  
  
"I'm Dr. Thompson. Are you Elizabeth Webber?" He asked.  
  
I cautiously answered, "Yes."  
  
"Bobbie Spencer told me to come find you, she said that Ms. Hardy said you were here. We've had to move your grandmother from the ICU into surgery. It seems that the blow she received to the head has caused some unforeseen complications."  
  
"Is she going to be okay?" I asked.  
  
"It's hard to tell. Do you want me to take you to her?"  
  
"Yes, of course." I answered and started following the doctor out of the cafeteria.  
  
I followed without hesitation the doctor and he stopped in front of a large solid wood door. I, normally, would have noticed that it was not a patient room because there was no window or number on the room, but my mind was preoccupied.  
  
"Are you ready?" The doctor asked.  
  
"Are you sure I'm allowed inside the surgery?"  
  
"This is merely the viewing room, the room the surgery takes place is next door. There is a window through which you can watch." He answered, having a knack for thinking on his feet.  
  
"I'm ready." I said, not really sure if I was or not.  
  
He nodded and opened the door. The room was dark and he pushed me inside and followed me in. He shut the door and finally turned on the light. I could not believe her eyes. I was in a janitors closet with a man whom suddenly started to look very familiar to me.  
  
"Did you get my valentine?" He asked, moving closer.  
  
I started to scream hoping that anyone might hear.  
  
"No one will hear you. This wing is hardly used, except of course, for storage." He offered.  
  
He pulled off one of the shelves some duct tape and started towards me. I stopped screaming and started looking around for a weapon. I grabbed the nearest thing, a mop, and started hitting him with it. He snatched it from my hand and threw it to the side, out of y reach.  
  
"You tried to fight me last time too, and lost. Why do you think you'll win this time?" He started, on the verge of laughter.  
  
* * *  
  
When I woke up I realized that I was no longer in the janitors closet. I could smell something in the air but could not recognize it. The room was completely dark, not even a single slice of light from underneath a door. My hands were taped together similarly to the way my mouth was taped. But I knew that HE had still not fulfilled his plan and that made me hopeful.  
  
I leaned back and realized I was near a wall. By putting all of my pressure on it I managed to stand up. The wall was gravelly and I imagined that I might be in a basement somewhere. That did not give me much hope that anyone would find me. I guess the only way I'm going to get out of here, I have to do it myself.  
  
I started rubbing my taped wrists against the wall in hopes of at least loosening the tape. To no avail I started moving around the room in search of any pointy object that might aid my freedom.  
  
My hands suddenly landed on a large glass dish and I instantly became hopeful. I pushed it off the table and let it fall to the floor. I felt my feet and lower pant-legs were soaked but none of this mattered.  
  
I bent down and got a piece of the broken glass and started working on the tape around my wrists. I could feel blood trickling down my hand but I ignored it and the pain. Focusing on my main objective I briefly entirely blocked out the pain.  
  
My patience and persistence were worth it and I successfully got my wrists free from the tape. With one free hand I ripped the tape clean off my mouth while covering it with my other hand to block out my scream of pain. Once the pain went from a burning feeling to a throbbing feeling, I let my hand leave my mouth.  
  
It was still completely black and I started feeling the wall for a light switch. There had to be a light switch. Luckily, I found one quickly and flipped the switch. A small red light lit up nearby and gave me enough information to discover where I was: a darkroom! I soon realized that the bin I had knocked over earlier was a glass developer tray.  
  
I hastily opened cabinets in the darkness and searched and quickly found what I was looking for. I unscrewed the cap and waited. When HE returned, I would be waiting, prepared and ready to fight. 


	13. Without you

Nikolas decided it would be best not to tell Audrey that Elizabeth was missing. Instead he decided to tell her that Elizabeth had simply gone to find Sarah and Steve. Once he took care of that he called Lucky, Emily, and Steve to start looking for Elizabeth.  
  
Nikolas had decided to stay at the hospital while Jason had left instantly. Nikolas had a feeling where Jason went but said nothing and let him go. Despite their differences, they both cared about Elizabeth and had her best interests at heart.  
  
Nikolas was right; Jason was headed towards the park. The area where he had found Elizabeth so many months ago. He ran to the exact spot and looked over the area only to realize that this was not where she would be. In broad daylight, the park was not the best spot for anyone to get away with anything.  
  
He stopped and looked around the area as if he might find some clue just waiting for him. He found nothing but could not draw his eyes away as if that spot mesmerized him.  
  
**Flashback**  
  
Jason walked past the playground, his heart on his sleeve. How he had imagined taking Michael here, pushing him on the swing, and watching him push a toy car around the sandbox. He had stood holding Michael next to the window of Sonny's penthouse; watching over the park and imagining the times he would share there with him.  
  
But now he knew those days would never come. Carly had taken away it all from him. He knew that Carly hadn't meant to hurt him. She claimed to love him, as he knew she did. But why bring Michael to the Quatermaine home? That was the worst place to raise a child. He imagined Edward hovering over little Michael telling lies and half-truths. He couldn't stand the thought of Michael there. He wanted to just break in and rescue Michael from it all. But he was not Michael's father and he had given up this right so that Michael would be better off. But until that moment he had not known how much of him he had put into Michael and how much he would loose letting him go.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of something in the bushes nearby. There was a rustling and then nothing. He assumed it was some animal and he started on his way, but something made him stop and look again. It was just a feeling that something wasn't right. He looked one more time and was about to go on his way when he heard something. Something almost in-human. He then recognized that it was a cry of pain, mistreatment, and abuse.  
  
He walked towards the bushes and the closer he got the worse he felt inside. He knew that there was something or somebody suffering nearby. Something terrible had happened here. He looked slightly over the bush, pushing leaves and branches out of the way with his hands, and forgot to breathe momentarily.  
  
On the side of the bush, laying in the snow, was a young woman. She was facing him; her eyes were vacant and cold. Her dress was ripped and the red fabric was spilled like blood against the snow. But he soon realized that some of it was blood. And then the chilling conclusion of what had happened to her he knew and understood.  
  
He quickly pulled out his cell phone and dialed for help, "This is Jason. I need an ambulance to the park, quickly. Near the playground."  
  
"Yes, Mr. Morgan." The man on the other line answered as Jason recognized her.  
  
A brief flash of a night at Kelly's came to mind. The lively young woman he had seen was barely recognizable now, but he did recognize her.  
  
"Help is on the way." He managed out, trying to make sure that she knew he wasn't going anywhere.  
  
His hand lay gingerly at his side and at first he did not register her hand on his own. But he noticed as the hand took hold as if holding on for dear life. He looked down at her, realizing what she had been through and knew that she was holding on for dear life. He feared that if he let her go that she might not survive. So he held on tightly, but not firmly. He did not want to give her a wrong impression.  
  
Johnnie was good when it came to getting things done. The ambulance came quickly and was ready to handle any situation. But the men had no idea what they would see or encounter. Was it a murder attempt on an associate of Mr. Corinthos or Mr. Morgan? But they never expected to find a young woman covered in blood, her clothes torn, looking as though she might just give up and die.  
  
He knew that an ambulance full of men was the last thing she wanted to see.  
  
"I promise I won't hurt you." He said, offering her a helping hand to get up.  
  
She got up but leaned on him heavily for support. He realized how cold she must be and took off his jacket and wrapped it around her. She did not even look as though she registered the difference as he took her towards the ambulance.  
  
** End of Flashback **  
  
Jason looked around at the surrounding area and could see in the distance an office building. In his gut he suddenly knew that he would find her there. He only hoped he would find her before it was too late. 


	14. Promise

When Tom opened the door to his darkroom, I launched the entire jug of developer towards his face. I watched as if in slow motion the jug first hitting him, shattering, and releasing the developer onto him. Glass shreds and the potent developer hit his eyes and he screamed out in pain.  
  
I decided that this might be my only chance to make a move. I quickly rushed past him out of the darkroom. I found myself in a photography studio, which did not have many places to hide. I frantically searched for a door just as he emerged from the darkroom.  
  
"You little bitch, you're not getting away!" He screamed.  
  
But then he heard my shallow breathing and just followed the sound of it. His vision was hazy, his eyes stung, but he wasn't completely blind.  
  
Trying to get further away I ran into a table of various props for his shoots. I randomly threw anything I could get my hands on at him in hopes of deterring him. My aim was not the best and I either missed entirely or hit him where it caused a minimum of damage.  
  
Finally, my hand landed on a glass candleholder and I flung it at him, hitting him directly in the crotch. He stumbled back and cried out in pain.  
  
"Wait 'til I get a hold of you, you little slut!" He yelled, his voice slightly higher than it had been.  
  
I finally got to the door, which was hidden behind some curtains, and came to the stark realization that it was locked.  
  
"Thought you'd get away that easy?" He said as he approached her.  
  
* * * Jason walked into the building without a problem. He asked the doorman what the building was used for and was surprised to learn that it was used mostly as a storage area for larger companies. He did mention that a few people worked here, mostly self-made businesses or artists used the space for studio area. The doorman, with a little monetary encouragement, revealed to Jason that only three current occupants were in the building and provided the corresponding room numbers.  
  
Jason did not even have to get close to the first door before realizing he would have to go no farther.  
  
"STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" He heard her scream.  
  
He instantly ran up to the door and tried to unlock it to no avail. He prayed that Elizabeth was nowhere near the door, took aim, and fired at the lock.  
  
Tom lay in the corner, a broken camera attachment lay next to him, and evidence of their contact was the large bump starting to rise on his forehead.  
  
"Elizabeth?" He called out into the studio.  
  
He heard a moan escape her lips and moved the door to reveal her sitting against the wall. Her hands and wrists were red and bloody. Her lips and nose were bloody as well. On hand hung lazily on her arm, trying to stop the constant blood-flow.  
  
Finally, Jason realized what he had done. His bullet had shot Elizabeth. He quickly scooped her up in his arms instantly noticing the limpness of her body. And despite her apparent weakness he knew how strong she was and knew that she would survive this.  
  
* * * The first thing I remember was the smell, the smell of a hospital. And without opening my eyes I knew where I was.  
  
"She's coming to!" I hear a voice whisper.  
  
I open my eyes and when they come into focus my gaze lands on his familiar green eyes.  
  
"Oh thank God, Elizabeth. I was so worried." He said, getting close and taking my hand within his own.  
  
Suddenly I remembered why I was in the hospital and instantly wanted answers.  
  
"What happened to HIM?" I asked.  
  
"He was here getting bandaged up and then they took him to the police station. The note he sent you hand his fingerprints on it so he is getting charged for both incidents."  
  
I let out a sigh of relief as I looked around the room. Lucky, Nikolas and Emily were all there, waiting patiently for their turn. Steve quickly realized this and went on his way. Emily was the next person to step up.  
  
"God you scared me." She said, circling me in a hug, "I'm so glad you're okay."  
  
I smiled and quipped, "I'm no worse for ware."  
  
Emily leaned in and whispered, "Better get out of this hospital soon. I'm in serious need of girl talk and both Lucky and Nikolas aren't properly equipped."  
  
"I'll try." I answered as she started to leave.  
  
Lucky was the next one to step up.  
  
"I'm sorry about all that stuff I said before about Jason. He is a standup guy and he proved it. I can see that he cares about you and all I want is for you to be happy . . . and safe."  
  
"Thank you," I started, knowing he was sincere, "But maybe you should tell Jason that."  
  
"That might take a while."  
  
"I understand." I offered, knowing that it had taken him a lot to say that.  
  
Lucky left, leaving me alone with Nikolas.  
  
He came over and delicately kissed me on the forehead, "I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?" I said, shocked.  
  
"I should have been watching you . . . I let you down . . ." He started.  
  
I grabbed his hand, "Nikolas, listen . . ." I started but stopped to wait for his attention. His brown eyes met my gaze and I continued.  
  
"You're not my keeper. I don't need someone to watch over me. This was not your fault. It was not my fault. It is HIS fault and he is getting what he deserves. Now, if I can accept this, I think you should be able to."  
  
He smiled and noticed as my gaze shifted slightly to the door.  
  
"He's out there, I'll get him for you." He offered, squeezed my hand, and then softly let it fall back against my side.  
  
A minute after he left, Jason came into the room looking years older than he was. He crossed the room and sat beside me on the edge of the bed. He took hold of my hand as our eyes met.  
  
"How are you feeling?" He asked, solemnly.  
  
"Like I just got back from one of my eight hour shopping days with your sister." I said, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
I knew that he felt as if he was responsible. Sure, it was his gun that the bullet had come from, but it was far from his fault.  
  
"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you got the letter. Nikolas had to tell me about it." He offered.  
  
"It's not your fault. I was going to call but I was so overwhelmed and Nikolas just happened to stop by. He wanted to call but I didn't want to bother you at work."  
  
"Nothing is more important than you, that includes my business."  
  
I smiled.  
  
"Are you shivering?" He asked.  
  
"The gown is paper-thin and this blanket doesn't really do its job that well." I offered.  
  
He climbed into the bed, pulled me back to his chest, and wrapped his arms around me.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Neither of us said anything for a while. We were both still trying to process all the emotion of the moment, the journey it had taken us to get here.  
  
"You owe me for shooting me, you know." I stated, breaking the silence.  
  
"Anything you want, it's yours." He offered.  
  
I considered his proposition and knew just what I wanted. I turned around to face him and let my head lean against his chest so I could hear his heart beat.  
  
"I just want to stay like this until I fall asleep and wake up just as we are now. And not just today, but for the rest of my life."  
  
He pulled me closer, kissed my forehead, and he never spoke a word. I knew his answer, long before I even posed the question.  
  
"When I first saw you, I already knew there was something inside of you Something I thought that I would never find Angel of Mine I looked at you looking at me Now I know why they say the best things are free Gonna love you boy you are so fine Angel of Mine How you changed my world you'll never know I'm different know, you helped me grow (You came into my life sent from above When I lost all hope you showed me love I'm checking for you boy you're right on time) Angel of Mine Nothing means more to me then what we share No one is this world can ever compare It's not the way you move that's still on my mind Angel of Mine What you mean to me you'll never know Deep inside I need to show (You came into my life sent from above When I lost all hope you showed me love I'm checking for you boy you're right on time) Angel of Mine I never knew I could reach this moment And if we would lose Every breath that I take The love that we make I only share it with you When I first saw you I already knew there was something inside of you Something I thought that I would never find Angel of Mine (You came into my life sent from above When I lost all hope you showed me love I'm checking for you boy you're right on time) How you changed my world you'll never know I'm different know, you helped me grow I looked at you looking at me Now I know why they say the best things are free I'm checking for you boy you're right on time Angel of Mine" (Monica/Angel of Mine/The Boy Is Mine) 


	15. Court, Custody, and Conclusion

~*~*~*~  
  
Epilogue  
  
"I have made my decision. Will both parties please rise."  
  
Both parties rose. The courtroom, filled with everyone from Sonny Corinthos to Lila Quartermaine, was silent with anticipation of the verdict.  
  
"In the matter of parental custody in regards to Michael Quartermaine, I find in favor of the plaintiffs. Michael Quartermaine will reside at the family home of Carly and Alan Quartermaine Jr. with visitation rights awarded to defendants Jason and Elizabeth Morgan. We will meet again in a week's time to discuss a visitation schedule. This court is adjourned."  
  
Jason turned to Elizabeth and encircled her within a hug. They pulled away at the same time and smiled in gratitude at Alexis Davis.  
  
"Thank you." Jason said, offering his hand to shake.  
  
Alexis shook his hand, "Congratulations."  
  
Alexis looked down at the younger woman in awe and then met her eyes, "And not only for winning the case."  
  
She smiled and left.  
  
Jason looked down at Elizabeth, his eyes lit with joy. Her hand was gently massaging her slightly protruding stomach. He placed his hand on top of hers and held it there. She turned and looked up at him with the same light in her eyes.  
  
"I think it is about time we let Michael know he has a baby sister or brother on the way." She offered.  
  
He smiled down at her as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of white construction paper.  
  
"Apparently he asked his Uncle Sonny during his last visit about your stomach. . ." He started with a devilish grin.  
  
"What did Sonny tell him?" She asked, concerned.  
  
He handed her the folded paper and she opened it up. Stenciled in crayon was a list of names in two columns, one for boys and the other for girls.  
  
She hit him playfully, "I guess he's alright with the idea."  
  
As they start walking out of the courtroom, Elizabeth offers, "Em and my gram have agreed to throw a baby shower."  
  
"Isn't it a little too soon, we don't even know the sex of the baby."  
  
She feigned an attempt to conceal her own devilish grin.  
  
"Elizabeth . . ." He started.  
  
"Oh, I didn't tell you what Dr. Meadows told me yesterday when you left for a minute?"  
  
"What?" He asked, excitedly.  
  
"She's gonna be such a daddy's girl." She offered.  
  
He smiled and kissed Elizabeth, not just out of love, but out of joy that their life together was just beginning and they would have many more years to come. 


End file.
